Comments on: How to Be Feminine Mystique, Power, and Grace: A New Definition of Femininity

By: $exyArabMan

$exyArabMan — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 23:15:06 +0000

For the most part I think what’s written here is a description of a balanced human being. To me true femininity is the expression of feminine energy whether that be in a man or a woman and it’s this energy I find attractive.

This means that an ideal relationship is when my partner embodies full feminine energy and I, full masculine. In this set up we’d be co-dependent but in a way that is consciously chosen in order to explore deeper parts of our being.

For this reason I don’t think co-dependency is a bad thing and honestly it turns me on more than anything.

By: Erika Awakening

Erika Awakening — Sat, 22 Sep 2012 05:32:21 +0000

In reply to Radlove.

Sorry for the delay in publishing your comment. I’ve been immersed in a very serious emergency with my cat. I hope to circle back to responding to your good questions after things settle down a bit. Thanks for stopping by :)

By: Radlove

Radlove — Tue, 18 Sep 2012 19:46:17 +0000

Erika,

How would this translate into this scenario: I am deeply attracted to a man in a 3.5 year friendship, where, altho I sense mutual attraction, he insists it is only a friendship. As a result, I feel like I am being treated as less than a princess, because “just friendship” means no handholding, no kissing, no gifts, and little time together. My intuition tells me “just friendship” is only a defense mechanism, not his reality. And, along with keeping himself at a safe distance so as not to be rejected, it also gives him a position of control. If I don’t do and say as he wishes, he simply pulls away, leaving me forever seeking his approval if I wish to stay in this “friendship”.

So all this was eating at me, and I took it upon myself to ask if we could meet in person to discuss our “friendship”. Even tho I assured him it was just a loving, peaceful meeting, apparently he anticipated an ambush. Being that the best defense is a good offense, he ambushed me instead. Two minutes into our meeting, he yelled at me about all this sh** I’ve put on him the last 3.5 years. He walked out on the conversation before I had gotten past my first paragraph.

I tried to handle it directly, so I could get out of my circle of thoughts of confusion about his true intentions. I don’t understand the dynamics of what went wrong. How could I have handled this better?

By: Iztok

Iztok — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 05:53:14 +0000

In reply to Erika Awakening.

lol yeah, I got into it a bit… and when clicking post button I realized its a bit longer than I thought :) Looks like there are things to be said and done.

By: Erika Awakening

Erika Awakening — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 22:24:55 +0000

In reply to Elaine Enlightening.

Thanks for sharing your perspective, Elaine. Yeah, I know you got to see the dark side of the “submissive” woman role. It’s so wonderful we are expanding now and becoming co-creators with men :)

By: Elaine Enlightening

Elaine Enlightening — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 21:33:46 +0000

In reply to Erika Awakening.

What a fantastic article!! I understand the confusion, having come from a totally submissive, co-dependent point of view. I mean, I totally embraced it for most of my life. It doesn’t work and I know it. Thank God I still have the opportunity to find this delicate and beautiful balance that you so wonderfully addressed. It is only a complicated topic if we listen to the ego.
I wrote about my son recently on my blog, what a wonderful balance he is of masculine and feminine. If my family can change, anyone can!!! Thanks Erika for spreading the “truth” about this so much misunderstood topic!!

By: Erika Awakening

Erika Awakening — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 16:32:42 +0000

In reply to Iztok.

Thanks Izo. This is a very thoughtful comment, you almost wrote an article of your own here! :) It’s all about balance and wholeness, for both men and women. And as we have seen on the TAPsmarter forum, http://tapsmarter.com/forum, when men and women work together on transformation, the results are awesome and it’s a lot more fun.

By: Iztok

Iztok — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 11:01:45 +0000

Excellent stuff…I believe you have very accurately identified the core issue -co-dependency. Looking completion, wholeness between two people BEFORE finding it in within yourself is a good start to neediness. It might feel good, because we confuse it with love and affection. However, when we stop fooling ourselves, we can realize it is far from Love. True Love comes from freedom, not neediness – attachment.
I think what is going on in our society is that men were burning fuel on expense of its feminine side. We didn’t want to relate to it. We thought it makes us “less of a man”. We related power with active (masculine energy) and weakness with passive (feminine energy). Its a confusion of what we think makes man a man. Its not just being active, although it might seem that way because men naturally have more tendency to act that way. Vice versa goes for women.
I think we came to a new era where we are realizing its actually about balancing both energies within ourselves.
I mean if we all agree that living in now is the only way to go, doesn’t that mean that we use/tune in masculine AND feminine energy according to the underlying situation? As a man you are not going to roar and lead at the funeral will you? Or as a woman, you are not going to keep quiet and obedient when your friend is being abused before your eyes?
Just because its harder for a man to be passive, even submissive, we have to recognize that what is “above” us feeling strong is us being powerful and recognizing what is the right thing to do in situation. Which sometimes include being “passive”. Even if we don’t like this world we do it anyway. If you work out like a mother fucker, you know you are going to have to rest to make recharge and actually allow muscle to grow. So now its time to expand that principle in all the other areas.
Same goes for women…Just because its harder for a woman to be assertive, leading etc. you have to realize that sometimes its needed and act appropriately. Its ok. When you go and compete, exercise you are running on masculine energy anyway. Expand.
As this is already happening I think its appropriate to mention, that as women start to be more assertive you naturally will ran into male opposition. Why? Well its like men telling you how to feel or how to feed your baby, or better… that you are not seductive, desirable, etc. It fucking hurts! Men are in general not as good with processing feelings…But we are learning…We do need help, but without feeling we are being robbed of our strength and feeling de-masculated. So be patient with us ;) And we will make you feel even “more” desirable, sexy, feminine and respected at the same time, than you do on your own.