Comments on: Are you avoiding someone? Here’s why it will never work …

By: Thatmetroguy

Thatmetroguy — Sun, 03 Jan 2016 07:20:01 +0000

Disagreed. Avoiding people who has wronged you does solve the problem. If I don’t like someone due to their aggressive behavior or bad attitude, then I’m within my rights to cut that person out of my life. Like right now I’m avoiding a female coworker who has a attitude problem and is very bossy so I want nothing to do with her.

By: sherry

sherry — Thu, 17 Dec 2015 20:09:17 +0000

In reply to Ellen.

You do not have to keep abusive people in your life, but it is true at some point you have to forgive and let go. I have to work on it. I still pay for the garbage 13 years later. I have not figured out how to let go. I hope church will guide me in the right direction. I was also a victim of a bad former spouse. Thanks to him my daughter hates me along with the current abusive people taking care of her now. I pray she survives. It kills me inside to know that she hates her own mom when I have tried to protect her. I know I am not the best parent, but I certainly am not the monster she says I am.

By: sherry

sherry — Thu, 17 Dec 2015 20:00:05 +0000

I have a daughter who has destroyed the family by making horrific allegations. She continues to avoid me. I have left the door open, but she thinks her family is toxic. SHE WENT SO FAR TO TELL LIES TO THE COURT SO OTHER PEOPLE CAN CARE FOR HER. I PRAY FOR HER. MY FRIENDS PRAY AND NOW I FOUND OUT SHE IS AVOIDING HER TEMPORARY GUARDIAN ALSO. As a mom it breaks my heart to see her do this! She works and goes to school. Unfortunately not receiving counseling as I had hoped. The grandparents don’t like her because she has tried to destroy my career and imprison me for something her dad did and the people taking of her say lies about me.

By: Erika Awakening

Erika Awakening — Fri, 12 Jun 2015 07:20:27 +0000

In reply to Ellen.

Really?

By: Ellen

Ellen — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 23:09:32 +0000

Sorry but this article is garbage. What about violent abusive people? Sorry but dome people do not deserve to be in your life. There are many tines I have called out abusive people and cut then out if my life. I have no regrets. I am not avoiding them I simply want nothing to do with them. This advice sucks and is negative because it us encouraging people to keep losers in their lives which will do nothing but hold you back.

By: Fabio

Fabio — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 03:36:17 +0000

Hi Erika. Any suggestions for if you are the one being avoided? An (ex) friend of mine has been avoiding me for over 6 years and she cut all possible ways of getting in touch (no phone, email, cut all ties with people we knew in common and disappeared). When this happened I faced the problem in my own life and stopped avoiding people who had upset/annoyed me. She appeared back briefly last year and I took the time to write a letter to her. She ignored that and promptly disappeared again. I understand she is no friend, but it doesn’t help the damage the loss caused. She gave no reason for her disappearance and all our friends are mystified as to her decision.

By: Erika Awakening

Erika Awakening — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 01:41:29 +0000

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By: MJ

MJ — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 03:40:40 +0000

I’m avoiding someone at the moment, due to their childish games, in my head, I’m saying “once they stop playing games with me, I will start communicating”. Am I solving the problem or making it worse?!!

By: Erika Awakening

Erika Awakening — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 01:44:30 +0000

In reply to MJ.

Hi MJ,

“Childish games” is your projection. Your interpretation. Your gloss on facts that could surely be interpreted many other ways.

So you turn it around and ask yourself, “how am I playing childish games here?”

And then you let go the interpretation and look only at the facts. You might also try asking yourself, “is there an interpretation of this situation that would feel better to me?” a more generous interpretation, perhaps.

cheers,
Erika

By: smileyiiz

smileyiiz — Sun, 01 May 2011 05:56:01 +0000

This is my problem, if a friend stated that her lesson is to stay far away from me, then as a friend, shouldn’t I avoid her as a way to show my respect for her decision? Having said that, how can I not be tempted to avoid her?