Will Getting Laid Make You Happy … or Is There Something More?

I feel really touched by the email I received tonight from the one-on-one client I worked with this past weekend. If you all knew who he is, you’d be shocked that we ended up working together ;-)

He came to me because his life had bottomed out. He was in a state of despair and anxiety, with thoughts of vengeance and anger. What he desperately needed was empathy. The problem is that very few people in this world know how to give empathy. They give a lot of advice and judgment and criticism, but they don’t know how to listen with presence and allow negative energies to be vaporized.

For the first few hours that we worked together, it took every bit of my own strength to maintain a space of Presence with him. He was dissociating in a big way (meaning, he was avoiding his feelings by going off on tangents, talking a mile a minute, etc.). I used What Is Holistic Belief Reprogramming? to ground him and to interrupt the pattern of avoiding his feelings.

Once he was grounded, our real work began. Of course his anxiety appeared to be focused in the present moment, but it never really is. We cleared out a ton of childhood memories involving shame and guilt.

As each hour rolled on, he changed. He became more grounded and present, he started smiling and laughing, his words started slowing down, there were pauses when I asked questions. He started to notice me (this is one of the first things that happens when we become truly present — we start to notice other people in a way that we were blinded to before). He started being more open and honest and vulnerable.

I’m not going to tell you that all his problems were solved in one weekend, but we made a substantial start. As for how he feels about it, I’ll let him tell you in his own words. This is his unedited email:

I got into pickup to meet women, get good with them, and fuck them. Yeah, I got good. I am good at it. But it helped fuck me up too. You do learn a lot about yourself doing this stuff, but its not always stuff you wanna learn.

There is so much emphasis on getting in girls pants going on, and getting women, but no one talks about what you should do once you have it. Its my experience that you get sort of disappointed. Disappointed that the media is largely marketing a culture rooted in selling you things, not making you happy. Im not going to rant on that now, but I will just say that cool cars, money, tons of ass…. these things will make you happy – for a little while. Not long enough though.

I had an ongoing personal crisis in my life, and it reached a climax. I touched the bottom. I talked to everyone for help and looked for help in places I never looked before. Many people listened, yet didnt really help. And a few other people, who I gave my all into helped me in more ways than I expected. Erika is one of those people…. probably the biggest one.

I wasnt doing EFT for meeting girls. I was doing it with her for meeting myself. And what to do with myself. I think being a more radiant and honest and positive person gets more girls as a biproduct of those things. Like if you are only being “honest” (/direct) to get ass… then are you being honest?

One of the reasons I thought Erika might be able to help me is because I find a lot of the things and ideas she holds on her blog to be disputable. Thats why I asked her for help.

Afterwards I told Erika that she could have charged me wayyyy more for what I got out of it. What she does with EFT will very much help you with women, but Erika Awakening Coaching Page.

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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  1. Not Sinn… That's not his writing style.

    Probably some other pickup coach though.

  2. Sinn?

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