Comments on: Why Avoiding Conflict Destroys Relationships

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:26:08 +0000

Thank you for posting this on your blog. I recently went through a similar ordeal, whereby someone told me they loved me, and expressed his unwavering commitment before sex, but then ran at the first hint of an honest discussion of sex and commitment after we committed the act. Looking back, I don't regret having sex or rushing into it. It was fun, playful, and freeing. Moreso, as a result

By: Deirdre

Deirdre — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 02:10:50 +0000

Erika – wonderful, I'll be looking out for more about this so keep us posted. I'm super relieved to think that there are perspectives that I haven't considered that would fill in some of the gaps, or better – replace this heady stuff with something that just feels real – and more – promotes healing. A lot of the stuff I talk about regarding relationships seem to come down to

By: Erika

Erika — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 01:37:05 +0000

Deirdre and Daria,

I'm feeling' kinda excited right now because after my Burning Man experience I have an intuition that I'll be able to bridge your two perspectives.

Deirdre, I have often had the same concerns that you have and yet part of me has longed for the freedom that Daria expresses in her sexuality.

Now I've got a new perspective on all

By: Deirdre

Deirdre — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 01:25:38 +0000

Very interesting Daria. I suppose we are each wired a little differently. I'm definitely curious about how some women can engage in casual sex without the repercussions so many of us face .

It's something I often ponder about myself - why doing something that feels so right at the time, down the road looks like a mistake. The last guy I was involved with asked me for an

By: Erika

Erika — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 01:20:53 +0000

Anonymous,

Your comments were published because you seem to have a sincere intention here, but please refer to my comment policy for future contributions to the discussion: http://awakeningfromthedream.blogspot.com/2009/09/new-comment-policy-on-blog-non-violent.html

I would ask you — who in your early life said things you said were "stupid," and how did that feel

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 21:05:24 +0000

To Daria. I agree emotional connection is great. Its great during sex as well. But in finding out if you like a girl sex plays a huge part of the relationship. Is she into what im into? Does she do anal? Does she deep throat? Does she dirty talk? Does she like it rough or does she likes it soft and gentle? I agree with you that connecting is important but you have to understand its the entire

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 20:52:07 +0000

Erika erika erika…I agree with you whole heartedly…I agree the thing that makes most relationships successful is trust trust that the other person wont cheat…it shows a lot of insecurity to not be able to trust someone. Erika your post has good intentions but we both know that women are emotional creatures. answering her logically could ruin a happy relationship. Its well and good to be

By: Daria

Daria — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 06:56:33 +0000

I feel comfortable having sex with some guys without feeling worried that they will hurt me or what not.

I just do what I want and trust myself that if I want it it's good for me.

I feel like they will continue to work for my affection even after I have sex. If they don't then, they don't before or after, but sex is my gift to me. And I want it when it feels

By: Deirdre

Deirdre — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 05:32:41 +0000

I agree with everything you said here Erika, and I think women are at a serious disadvantage when negotiating sex/relationship with a new guy if they're looking at trusting him or not. It seems to me that directing our thoughts toward trusting them or not trusting them is irrelevant , because regardless of their level of awareness, we know that they lie to get sex, and we're trying to