What Is Monogamy? Monogamy Is A Sexual Monopoly – That Is Why It Doesn’t Work for Anyone
My long-time friend and now lover has rightly pointed out that I need to start defining the terms I am using in these recent articles about monogamy. So here goes … we are going to start with a working definition of “what is monogamy?” which will likely evolve as I receive input and suggestions from all of you :) So exactly what is monogamy and what are we going to do about it?
Monogamy as I am using the term is a sexual monopoly. That’s why it is a problem. According to Wikipedia, a monopoly “exists when a specific person or enterprise is the only supplier of a particular commodity.”
What Is Monogamy?
Monogamy is an agreement made by two people to exclude all others from sexual relationship. The monopoly of monogamy often extends to other life areas. For example, a monogamous couple may have a “monopoly” over many aspects of their children’s lives as well, which is equally problematic and often leads to abuse. A monogamous couple may share some “secrets” only with each other, and generally pursues at least some “private interests” in which the interests of the “couple” are seen as conflicting with or separate from the interests of their greater community and society.
Some people say they are merely “choosing” to be with one sexual partner over and over and over again. Yet if this were true, there would be no need for a monogamous agreement. And there would be no “dire consequences” for violating that agreement. In practice, the monogamous agreement is usually “policed” in many subtle ways such as the overt or covert threat of the severing of the relationship should the monogamous boundary be breached.
What Is Monogamy and Does It Even Really Exist?
As most of us know, the rates of cheating are sky-high in monogamous relationships, so in fact most so-called monogamous relationships are not actually monogamous. However, because of the often dire consequences of honesty in a monogamous relationship, most of the cheaters are never honest about the cheating.
How perpetuating this sort of illusion is helpful to anyone is really beyond my comprehension. I would love to hear your thoughts on this :) Of course, we are going to add to this definition based on the feedback and questions that I receive …
If you’d like to learn how to become this honest, present, and fearless, check out:
If you missed our earlier articles about monogamy, check them out here:
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