The limits of "assuming it’s on" …

Because I do have a blog, where I can write pretty much anything I want, I am going to vent a bit about a pet peeve of mine.

I feel really annoyed when (some) men assume that if a woman sends them a friendly text message or email, this is a sign of sexual interest.

If that were true, then I would be lining up my sexual partners for the next five years because I have a LOT of male friends.

It is particularly aggravating when the recipient of said text or email proceeds to “react” (and, yes, this is reactive) as if the female sender of the message is romantically or sexually obsessed with him. Thus, he does any of the following (a) alerts other women in his life of the text or email, (b) fans the flames of jealousy in the other women, and then, classically, in one case (c) complains to me that the other woman or women in his life are now jealous and worried about my communication. Hmmm … go figure.

Folks, friendly texts and emails are called “communication.” I realize that the mind can become so warped by PUA theories and cockiness that a man could entirely lose his sanity and begin to see anything and everything as an indication of interest (IOI) or even an indication of obsession (IOO, I made that one up).

Not so. Once again, in the non-PUA world, we call this communication. We call this friendliness.

And finally, what is perhaps most aggravating is the man so full of himself that, even when told straight out and bluntly that the woman is just being friendly, nonetheless refuses to believe that, in fact, she is just being friendly and would like to be friends. Thus, no matter how many times he is told that said woman is not romantically or sexually interested in him, he continues to insist that she is.

At that point, I just give up. It’s then tempting for me to blow all of this way over the top and pretend in fact to be obsessed with him.

“Oh, John, I just can’t get enough of you. Will you please stick your hot hard boner into me now? Oh, please, John…”

Well, you get the idea. And, yes, this post was written with certain particular individuals in mind, one of whom is a famous PUA and another who just fancies himself to be. You know who you are. Get a grip … please.

I’m not infatuated with *anyone* right now. For all you logical minds out there, if you are reading this, that means I am *not* infatuated with you, no matter how much you are “assuming it’s on.”

(Not that I couldn’t be talked into getting turned on, but it’s certainly not going to happen with a man who can’t get over himself.)

Phew. I feel better now. Thank you, Blogger. :)

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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  1. I like how managed to flirt with half your blog readership with one little rant

    I never thought push/pull could be used so effectively on a group in this way – fantastic!

    p.s – you are SO into me. Nice try inserting this little jealously plotline into your blog.

    Oh Erika…. silly girl….did you forget? Trix are for kids! ;)

  2. Mogul Guy,

    It's nice to have you back on the blog. Thanks for your comment (and the lovely party).


    – Erika

  3. Well said, Erika!!! I personally like to know that the man I am partnered with is loving and caring to his female friends… The quality of his connections being high is a turn on for me…

    If nearly every phone call and every conversation has to be "his territory" and they are "his friends", and all it's for is to create jealousy with me and is used to test

  4. I posted this on Facebook and repeating it here:

    Actually, truth be told, I don't mind guys "assuming it's on" as long as they don't use it as a way of triggering jealousy or pain in me or anyone else … I'm all for reframing and seeing things in a positive light. But when a guy claims to another woman that I'm "hung up" on him, as a way of

  5. While not every communication between the sexes indicates sexual interest, every sexual liaison started with some communication.

    I am with the SmokeLion, if you want to maximize the scoring, respond to EVERY communication like it is foreplay.

    (can't remember my login stuff)

  6. SMoKeLioN says:

    I believe that in assuming its always on, you will of course be wrong some of the time. But its better than say assuming its on say 70%. Because if you are right, you'll hit. And if you are wrong, you'd have missed anyways if you did nothing. Its a free roll. You can win, but you cant lose.

    It is a good strategy for maximizing lays, even though its not expected to always be a

  7. I want to officially apologize to LOVE itself for being such a dork! Yes! I'm taking the full responsibility for this one… (I've been reflecting on this for a few days actually) If a guy has to use jealousy to get my attention, I need to back up and look at why I haven't gotten present with this being and helped him get free in one way or the other… free to love more, free to

  8. This gives me a good chuckle… And it brings up one of my pet peeves… in trying to get me to come down from my aloof high horse, my former used every communication possible to fan the flames of jealousy… and yes, he knows who he is!

    And, out of his misunderstanding of where I really was when we met, which was still terribly heartbroken and not really available, which was told to

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