Could be. I’ve now chosen to be celibate until marriage.

Yep, that surely what many men try to do – and suffer dearly for it.

But isn’t it the same for women? Women torture themselves all in pursuit of love…

And, in case of women, would your statement, changed into
” Forgetting all along that ….love…. is not a goal. And what they really want is not ….love….”
be correct as well?

This article made my head spin.. in a good way. Lately I’ve been placing WAY too much focus on physical gratification and basically zero focus on actual connections with people.

It just been recent that I started noticing that the women who I’ve been pursuing sexual can feel that energy of “just wanting sex from them”. That’s because that WAS my hidden motive. Trying to fake the connection to get sex. I find that it’s incredibly frustrating to want something and feel the need to hide it, but the other person can see right through the b.s and then proceeding to give you an honest signal by cutting you out of their life.

I think it’s a very desperate and insecure way I was living my life, probably still in a way I’m doing something like that due to a lack of understanding or alternative choice of what I’m really seeking.

Your article makes a ton of sense, but I feel really confused and hopeful at the same time.

Now the question is how do I identify and clear up my limiting beliefs that are holding me in a slump & how do I specify what it is that I really want that will lead me down the path of ACTUAL long term durable fulfillment?

I like how Matt said what he wanted. But I find it to be incredibly challenging to find durable fulfillment.

Cheers Erika!

Never has this passage from the Tao Te Ching had more meaning for me than it does today …

Yield and overcome;
Bend and be straight;
Empty and be full;
Wear out and be new;
Have little and gain;
Have much and be confused.

Therefore the wise embrace the one
And set an example to all.
Not putting on a display,
They shine forth.
Not justifying themselves,
They are distinguished.
Not boasting,
They receive recognition.
Not bragging,
They never falter.
They do not quarrel,
So no one quarrels with them.
Therefore the ancients say, “Yield and overcome.”
Is that an empty saying?
Be really whole,
And all things will come to you.

Leaving the religious/spiritual aspect of it aside (although that too is an interesting discussion) , I think this article raises up a very important point in the seduction arena. Many men, specially from the Seduction Community, seek women and sex, thinking they will find happiness *through* them.

From what people that achieved a *very* intense sexual life say, that doesn´t seem to happen. And it is not necessary to get there to realize this.

For a long period of time, before getting to the point they think will make they feel happy, they feel frustrated and sad. They are giving too much value to sex (some, even considering the intensity of the sexual life as a defining factor of their identity as man), a value that does not match with reality. They are not “seeing the world as it is” (from my experience, when working our limiting beliefs regarding women/relationships.. even on any other area, this is *essential*).

It´s not healthy, wise, or correct, to place the burden of *our* happiness as man, in the shoulders of another person, in this case, women. The relationship (doesn´t matter the type) with the women (including sex here) will be only one factor, of a “n” number of factors in our life.

Personally, I am constantly working to improve my success with women, relationships and my social skills. But that doesn´t mean my identity as a man is in any way affected, or my happiness as a human being. At least, I work to not let this happen, *grins*.