Magnolia, My Magnolia

something I wrote a long, long time ago …

Magnolia, My Magnolia

Then they no longer huddled.
They forgot how to hide.
Tense as they had been,
they were flags, gaudy, chafing in the wind.
There was such abandonment in all that! – Anne Sexton

I was born blue in the face, my own umbilical cord wrapped three times around my neck. The doctors said I was lucky to be alive at all and that certainly there would be brain damage. But I guess good fortune was on my side. The stranglehold was brief and soon my skin turned rosy pink. I’ve always attached symbolic value to little life events. A bit of narrative irony there: the life cord threatening to squelch its own tiny beneficiary.

A little girl’s recurring nightmare: I’m standing in a field of dry grass and all my relatives–Mom, Dad, cousins, aunts, brothers–are being slowly suffocated by boa constrictors. There’s one boa constrictor for each family member and one that is suffocating me, too. I fight the death coil but the snake just keeps wrapping its body tighter and tighter around my legs and arms until I am gasping for breath.

We live at the edge of a wooded area where deer and squirrels are frequent visitors to the backyard. My brother and I long to get close enough to one of these deer to touch it and pet it. When we spot a deer in the woods, we approach it slowly to get near and then when it runs, we give chase. During the summer, it is a test of endurance to track a deer barefooted, over packed clay-earth and blackberry thorns. You have to be able to ignore the pain of your feet pounding on the forest floor if you expect to keep the deer in sight. During the winter, we wear rubber boots because the clay-earth turns cold and slippery when the rains come.

One rainy day, my brother and I begin a trek into the woods. We’re only around the first bend when my boot begins sinking in a clay-mud puddle. I yell to my brother that I am sinking in quick sand and to get our mother before I sink all the way down. By the time Mom arrives, I have recovered my leg, but the boot has disappeared into the muck. We find the boot two summers later, lodged tightly in the dried up clay pots, only the red rubber rim sticking out of the ground. Our own Brea Tar Pits, with the past preserved airtight in the reddish earth.

Mom gave in and bought us the Slip-n-Slide that we’ve been begging for all summer. My brother has it all set up in the backyard, with the long sheet of yellow plastic running the length of the lawn and the hose pouring water out at full throttle to lubricate the slide. I stay shut up in my bedroom reading. My brother has already made a few practice runs and now he comes to bang on my window. I tell him I don’t want to slide right now, even though I begged Mom for the set as much as he did. He cannot figure me out. He slides all afternoon, intermittently calling me out to play. Then he suddenly knows. You’re on your pyramid, you’re on your pyramid, he taunts. And I curse the day I was born a woman and I curse the bulky pad between my legs and I cry and cry and cry. This time the bleeding lasts for two straight weeks and I think it will never end.

Later, in high school, I learn that by losing just a few pounds and running every day I can stop the curse. I stop menstruating for months at a time and know that I have found paradise. Whenever it comes back, I just step up the regimen a bit and within a few months, presto, I’m as good as a boy. Just call me Demeter. You can take away my little girl, but I can control my fertility. You can shut her away in a dark underworld and threaten to never let her see sunlight again, but I will retaliate by willing my body barren.

It’s seventh period and I’m sitting in math class. The guy one row back passes me a note asking for a date. This guy is greasy and lusty and he repulses me. I write back, I don’t think so. He writes another note: one of my friends told me you’re just a prude and you’ll be an old maid until you die. I tear the note into tiny pieces and my eyes well with tears. I think it’s true. I’m sweet sixteen and have never been kissed. I probably never will be kissed. Shame saturates every corner of my being. I am ugly and repulsive and I hide my face in my shoulder length hair.

I am twenty and I’ve been kissed many times. Once in a while I still feel ugly, but I remind myself that it cannot be true because men are still willing to kiss me. Tonight is perfect evidence. Right now I’m riding home with Augustus, who is very good-looking. Dark, strong, but artsy, with two little gold earrings in his left ear. He’s a little drunk, but I’m letting him drive my car anyway. I just met him tonight and we hit it off, but now he’s acting a little weird. He asks why I’m allowing a guy I barely know to drive my car. He says: I could be anyone, I could be dangerous. He is five years older than I am.

I am completely drunk, but not stupid. I know that circumstances and details make people the way they are, not the other way around. He is treading into treacherous territory, and red flags shoot up in my head. He is trying to take control of the situation, and if I allow him to, then, yes, he will be dangerous. But it’s a game, a game I can play well. Measuring my voice carefully, I reply with deliberate confidence: I have good instincts and I trust them; I can tell you’re a good guy.

There. I’ve labelled him and re-taken control. He’s not so dangerous anymore. It is obvious that he has not sensed my quick rush of fear. But my confidence remains fragile. I begin to look more vigilantly for danger signals.

Back at his house, he cracks open another beer but I decline, honestly believing that I will throw up if I drink any more. We go upstairs to his room, where I notice black leather boots and a black leather jacket in his closets. He pulls his T-shirt over his head, revealing two tattoos on his shoulder and upper back. A lump grows in my throat. The combination of these external cues and simply the way he talks about his fraternity brothers from MIT is etching a pattern in my brain. I begin to suspect that Augustus is bisexual, the idea of which spawns two unexpected and frightening thoughts in my head. Number one, his probability of carrying the AIDS virus has probably just hundred-folded. Number two, would he rather be in this room right now with another man instead of me? Am I, just by sake of being a woman, already just a second-best scam? It’s a possibility I’ve never contemplated before. He’s right: I don’t know the first goddamn thing about this man, nor do I have the guts or tactlessness to ask him outright, and yet I’m lying in his bed in this unknown house.

I am nine years old at a new grade school where I do not know any of the kids. I spend my morning and lunch breaks inside the classroom making up word games and puzzles and reading books. My teacher worries that I am not social enough.

Amy Bennett gives me an invitation to her slumber party and though she’s not popular, I am happy enough to go. Her parents are not home, so we have free reign of the house. We gather at eight o’clock and make chocolate chip cookies before beginning the party games. We play a few old hat ones, and then I inexplicably suggest a renegade new game. I’ll run and you girls try to tear off my clothes. But I’ll try to fight you off and we’ll see if I can get away. (This is one blessed year before I gain knowledge of the defects of my body. I am not embarrassed to be seen naked.) So we play this game, and I think I can win, but there are six or seven of them chasing me around the living room, and I end up with rug burns, screaming naked on the carpet.

I am thirteen years old and a goody-good. My family spends August in the backcountry, in a rustic cabin beside a huge green lake complete with plate-glass surface that mirrors the forested mountains with their blue and snowy caps. Every year we reunite with relatives at this backcountry resort. This year my girl cousins, who are two years older, have given up bike riding for lipsticks and hairspray. We meet some like-minded boys down by the lakeside and trek to the woods for an impromptu game of Spin-the-Bottle. I refuse to play. I watch with guarded jealousy as my cousins take turns slipping into an abandoned ranger house to make out with the partner randomly chosen for them by the bottle. I desperately want to join in, but I don’t know how to kiss and cannot overcome my fear of playing the fool.

That night a beautiful electric storm smashes the placid aura of the rustic resort. With the lights turned out in our cabin we watch the sky as it cracks along tiny hairline fractures of light and re-sutures itself. A massive rainfall pounds the dirt outside and puddles are beginning to form. I slip out of the cabin without my raincoat and run giddily through the rain until hair licks my cheeks and my sopping t-shirt clings to my torso. I run to the lakeside in an adrenal rush of well-being. The storm is so close now that the thunderclaps are almost simultaneous with the flashes of light. Against the sky above the forested mountains there are glowing pinks spots where lightning fires have started. The night is eerily, violently perfect.

Augustus lies beside me, bare-chested. He says he is exhausted. I ask for nothing. I lie quietly on my stomach, motionless, my drunken body indifferent to any desire. I am infinitely flexible. I demand nothing. Since there is no action, I begin to drift off to sleep.

Suddenly Augustus grasps me. His hands are calloused and rough, which makes his caresses wonderfully brusque. I long to feel his hands all over my body. Then, he reaches for my buttocks, and again, I realize that he is feeling through me, to something else. I am in his presence but not in his mind. Powerlessness overwhelms as I realize there is nothing I can do to make this man feel me. Am I not beautiful enough? Am I not coy enough? Am I not? His hands are suddenly heavy on my flesh and I push them away. He is jarred, but not awakened. He asks: what’s wrong? Do you want me to seduce you or do you want me to stop? I want you to stop, I reply. I want you to stop. He stops. He says: I’m sorry, I didn’t understand.

I am five years old and my family moves into a small neighborhood in a suburb of San Francisco. The first day we pull into the driveway, two older kids, a sister and brother, are turning cartwheels on the lawn of our new house. This year is the first of what will be many years of drought, and watering our lawn is strictly forbidden. So is flushing the toilets. Our new backyard is overgrown with long, dry grasses topped grain-like heads that Dad calls foxtails. We play hide-and-seek in the yard, using the waist-length grass as camoflauge. On our side lot there are rows of leafy bushes with pretty pink flowers. Dad says they are oleanders, and poisonous. He says never eat the leaves of those plants.

Once a week the ice cream man drives down our street, playing his magical tune. We run out of the house with quarters and nickels begged off Mom to buy popsicles and chocolate-covered ice cream bars. Then we sit in the side lot by the oleanders with the neighbor kids and try to eat the melting treats before they dribble all the way down our arms.

I am five years old. One day my parents are not home and the neighbor boy comes over to our house. He is the same one who was turning cartwheels on the front lawn that first day we moved in. He is five years older than I am. We are playing in our glassed-in patio, when he sends my brother, who is three, away to play with a green balloon. The neighbor boy and I lie down on the bristly carpet and he pulls down my pants. I am not frightened. He climbs on top of me and moves up and down. He is inside me, but I will not remember what it feels like; I will not remember the boy’s name. I will not remember where my parents were. I will not remember who initiated it. All I will remember is that I did not fight off this boy or tell him to stop. It is a game, a game, a game.

Now I am twenty years old. Augustus has fallen asleep, but I lie awake, staring out the window at the sky that is just beginning to lighten. The air in the bedroom is hot and stale and hard to breathe. I look over at the distant man sleeping beside me, his voluptuous lips completely relaxed, the black stubble beginning to darken his face. Silently, I dress and find my shoes. I leave his bedroom without waking him, without leaving a note or a phone number. He doesn’t even know my last name. My car is parked in the driveway, between two blooming magnolia trees. The cool night air feels pleasant on my burning skin. As I turn the key in the ignition, the poem about fallen magnolia blossoms is re-writing itself in my brain:

After that I walked to my car awkwardly
over the painful bare remains on the brick sidewalk,
knowing that someone had, in one night,
passed roughly through,
and before it was time.
– Anne Sexton

The cave you fear to enter …

AngkorWatDoorway… holds the treasure you seek. But don’t kid yourself. The ego guards the cave with demons and death threats.

So you’re going to find every excuse in the book not to enter the cave.

Below I will tell a little story about the envelope I feared to open. You can see it as a metaphor for all the demons in your own life that you are not facing. First, though, let’s have some tough love, because being “fake nice” with each other is doing nothing but hurting everyone involved.

Those of you who have been following me for a long time and not taking any action … not signing up for the 30-Day Challenges or private coaching … and those of you who did sign up initially, got great results, and then backed away …

Let’s at least do each other the honor of being honest. The air is thick with bullshit and excuses. I’m not going to listen to them anymore. Enough is enough.

Yes, I am scared, and so are you. That’s exactly why we need to move forward, together, now.

I sent out an admittedly abrupt email to my newsletter list last week. I received quite a bit of feedback about that email. I appreciate that the abruptness did encourage engagement. I also appreciate that a bunch of people unsubscribed, because they clearly are not ready for this work.

On the other hand, every email I received in response was, yet again, thick with BULLSHIT AND EXCUSES.

Stop it already. NO, it is not true that you are focused on “saving money.” That is bullshit. I have watched how you squandered it the past two years, doing everything and anything you could to avoid facing the deeper shit.

NO, it is not true that you don’t have time for the work. If you did the work, the Universe would do everything to give you more time.

You are simply avoiding your feelings, your power, and yourself. It is as simple as that. We are not going to make this complicated, because it’s not complicated. It’s simple.

You are scared shitless to do this work.

So let me share a little vignette with you, so that you know that I get scared too. And I still do the work.

An envelope came in the mail a few weeks ago. It came, my intuition knew, too quickly. Because it came too quickly, I dreaded opening it. Deep down, I knew it was bad news. So the envelope sat here for three weeks. During those three weeks, I tapped and did everything I could to clear the negative energy BEFORE opening the envelope.

What was I avoiding my not opening the envelope? There was no way to find out what I was avoiding, until I opened the envelope.

When I opened it, sure enough, it was bad news. But the bad news is not what I was really avoiding. I was avoiding my feelings.

Opening the envelope was opening Pandora’s box. Suddenly I was confronted by a massive onslaught of toxic shame, overwhelming grief, dread, fear, horror … childhood memories resurfaced. I could almost feel into my pre-verbal childhood … how powerless I felt in the maelstrom of the Toxic Male and the Toxic Female who ran my life at that time, and their Toxic Relationship with each other and with me.

For more than 24 hours, all I could do was tap and bawl my eyes out. It literally felt like I might die, that’s how overwhelming the shame was. Wave after wave after wave of it smashed me back into the rocks, as soon as I would begin to stand up. All I managed to accomplish all day was to take a sea salt bath with lavender.

It was while soaking in the bath, I realized … this is what is blocking the miracles. All this toxic shame and grief that I’ve been avoiding, that I forced myself to confront by setting up this situation and sending myself that envelope with devastating news …

There’s only one way the miracles can come. I had to open the envelope and face the demons inside.

So as horribly awful as it feels, I am doing myself the greatest gift by opening the envelope and facing the feelings.

That envelope is a metaphor for repressed toxic shit. Putting that envelope in a drawer doesn’t make it go away. Only facing it can do that.

Every time you don’t get the next 30-Day Challenge, the next private coaching session … every time you go distract yourself with another “entertainment” or another Facebook post … all you do is prolong the agony and prolong the inevitable.

Every single time you make another excuse, you don’t have time, you don’t have money, you don’t feel motivated, you don’t see the value … you are betraying yourself and the rest of the planet. Your bullshit is false. It is so easy to avoid this shit, and yet it DOES NOT WORK. That shame is there whether you avoid it or not. You have two choices: keep seeing a world locked in chains by that shame and grief, or face it and heal it. Those are the only two choices.

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.

Today is the last day at this investment level. I hope you make the right choice:


erika awakening


The importance of consistency for scheduling coaching sessions

Evergreen for Christmas

The Evergreen ship – symbol of eternal life

Today we are answering another client question, this time about the perfect timing of private coaching sessions. This client wanted to understand why I believe it is best to have your coaching sessions one week apart, at most two weeks apart. It is not a good idea to put a large amount of time between coaching sessions. So I am going to discuss this issue here.

At the end of this post will be some important announcements about my Intro Session (for new clients only) and the 15-Week Miracle Coaching Program. The investment level for both of those programs is increasing soon. Be sure to read to the end of the post so you don’t miss out on the current rates.

As you may recall, I recently revised my private coaching programs to be almost entirely Bespoke, customized coaching. From here on out, whenever we create one of those beautiful Bespoke programs … customized just for you and your goals … we will be putting an expiration date on the coaching sessions. The expiration date will reflect an intention for us to complete one 80-minute Skype coaching session each week, consistently. At most, we would have two weeks between sessions.

Why am I adding an expiration date to coaching sessions? Good question!

We are adding this policy for the same reason we have so many of our other uber-strict, non-negotiable policies (non-refundable payments, 48-hour reschedule/cancel policy, tough love, etc.). We are doing our best to prevent the ego from sabotaging our progress.

Once we start a coaching program together, we are embarking on a deep exploration of your subconscious mind. During that journey, we are going to be poking around and finding those old, deep, dark, sore spots that you’ve been avoiding for years.

(The truth is, this avoidance succeeded only at a conscious level. In fact, when unconscious trauma and pain is repressed, it gets projected. That means you have not avoided it at all, but it will appear in your life as something “out there” that is attacking or bothering you. This is the subject of my famous article about why avoidance never works.)

As we dig into this deep unconscious material, with the intention of getting it healed for real so that it no longer haunts your waking dreams … things may begin to feel UNCOMFORTABLE. In fact, if you don’t feel uncomfortable in my coaching programs, you would be the rare exception … and we probably need to dig DEEPER.

As things begin to feel uncomfortable, the ego will start prodding you to FIGHT OR FLEE. No matter how composed you may be at the beginning of the program, just wait … The ego is a sneaky devil. It does not want to be unraveled and defeated. It will come up with just about ANY excuse to interrupt our program. Among many other “strategies” the ego has, it will start finding “reasons” why you “don’t have time” to schedule your next session, why it’s “better to wait,” etc. etc. etc.

The ego is doing this because when you allow long breaks in between coaching sessions (or sessions of tapping videos on your own), the ego has a chance to reassert itself. It will bring in new distractions, it will bring in new excuses, it will reinforce your limiting beliefs … The ego will find any way possible to make sure its control over your life continues unabated.

And we are not going to let the ego do this, because I want you to get the most out of your time and money commitment to our program together.

healing with archetypes ganesh

When I was in Thailand in 2013, this image of Ganesh appeared on the wall of the store that gave me visa photos to go to Vietnam. The removal of obstacles was exactly what was happening at that moment.

Unfortunately, if you let the ego reassert itself, you can pretty much count on sabotaging the results we are working so hard to create in your private coaching program. I’ve had a great many clients who wanted to quit right before they got their miracle. That is not a coincidence. It is a very predictable ego sabotage mechanism that the ego uses on a regular basis to keep the “status quo” in place and block miracles.

So, from here on out, when you sign up for the 15-Week Miracle Coaching Program or a Bespoke private coaching program, we will be adding an expiration date to the sessions. We are going to use the ego’s fear of “losing” money to defeat the ego’s strategy of preventing progress. The ego thought it was sneaky. Happily, we are sneakier than the ego. We are going to be relentless in chipping away the ego, until it has no option left but surrender.

Meanwhile, I am going to be raising the investment level of the 80-minute Skype Intro Session and the 15-Week Miracle Coaching Program. The Intro session is the first one that will go up in price, most likely later this week. Get yours now, and let’s get started defeating the ego in your life:


erika awakening


Products vs. coaching – Am I wasting my time and money doing both?

Today we are answering a question posted by Hans on the Forum (you can read his post here):

Hi Erika,

If the private coaching session (and audio after that) helps one to continue releasing energies at a deep & specific level, won’t that lead to the challenges tapping videos and gold membership videos be less useful eventually? After all, the tapping videos are not customized to the users, and hence less intense.

Hi Hans,

counting little miraclesThanks for posting on the Forum. The short answer to your question is no. The videos do not become less useful. Private coaching sessions and advanced EFT tapping videos serve very different purposes and work best in tandem.

Let’s get into the reasons why it is essential to get both private coaching sessions and the 30-Day Challenges, to get best results.

1. Spend your money wisely: Covering basic topics in private coaching sessions that are already covered in videos is not a good application of your financial investment.

Think about it. Let’s take for example the 30-Day Abundance Challenge or the 30-Day Personal Power Challenge. In each of those programs, we cover lots and lots of Holistic Belief Reprogramming basic principles and techniques. How many hours of teaching and tapping video is in each one of those programs? Probably around 8-12 hours of video. And some of the advanced 30-Day Challenges have more than that.

In terms of time spent talking, that’s the equivalent of what … 7 private sessions or more … that’s half of a 15-Week Miracle Coaching program.

Why would you want to cover all those basics in private sessions? It’s far more cost effective to learn the basics in videos and then use private sessions for highly customized tapping and advanced topics.

2. “Surrogate” tapping can be far more effective than direct tapping on “your” issues.

Most of my video programs are highly specific, because specific videos are more powerful than general videos. The videos are specific, and many of them are very intense. It’s just that the details are not “your” details. So you may think it’s “less powerful” because it’s “not your issue.”

Not so fast. Remember, the ego is very sneaky. The ego may be doing everything it can to keep you from solving “your” issue. Frequently, entering by the side door (i.e., tapping “his” or “her” issue) is more effective than a direct approach, simply because the ego never saw it coming. Every issue in a video, whether it is “your” issue or not, is YOUR issue. There is some parallel in your subconscious mind. That applies even if the issue is not “your” gender, or “your” socioeconomic status, or “your” country, etc.

So tap, breathe, and let your subconscious mind draw parallels between “your” issues and the issues we cover in the videos.

3. Active vs. passive tapping:

Active and passive tapping have different roles to play in healing. We could write a book about this. I guarantee you, no matter how good you get at Holistic Belief Reprogramming, you will not always feel like guiding your own tapping.

There is an ebb and flow to healing. Some days it is more in the flow to sit back and do passive tapping. That goes for me too, and I recorded the videos! Some days I want to be guided too instead of having to lead and think about what I am going to tap. Then I put on the headphones and tap through a few 30-Day Challenges.

4. Videos greatly increase the amount of tapping you can do in a day.

At this moment right now, I am listening in cordless headphones to the 30-Day Abundance Challenge. Am I tapping? Well, yes. I am tapping on the keyboard as I type this sentence, and the finger tips of each hand are covered with acupressure points. I am actually playing five videos at the same time, another way of confusing and bypassing the ego mind.

Tapping this way is highly effective. I have been amazed how frequently money comes in during or shortly after tapping a bunch of abundance videos while I am accomplishing other tasks. This way I can squeeze in my abundance tapping even when I am too busy with other things to tap on my own.

5. Videos are a great reminder when you forget.

Life happens. Last year when Harvey got really sick and almost died, I was not feeling abundant. I was not feeling powerful. Nearly all of my tapping was focused very intensely on getting Harvey through this crisis, on making sure he did not die. So other important priorities – like paying bills – went by the wayside.

This was not sustainable situation, financially. I had a huge amount of trauma to release from my system. So, when bills absolutely had to get paid, I was very grateful for the videos. The videos reminded me of a more powerful and abundant “self” that I nearly forgot in the middle of this crisis. By listening to the videos, I could remember my power. By listening to the videos, a more powerful version of myself re-taught personal power to the part of myself that had been beaten down by trauma.

Very frequently during this time period, I felt amazed how powerful the videos really are … and grateful that I had it all on video so I could re-teach myself the first principles. The videos reinforce the teachings in powerful ways.

Every HBR video you purchase is a precious and enduring gift that you can give to yourself over and over again.

Then, private coaching sessions allow us to go deeper, get more specific, tailor the teachings. Obviously there is massive value in private coaching sessions, and I encourage everyone to invest in themselves and get private coaching sessions.

So the answer is – you need both, and will continue to use both indefinitely. If I, as the person who recorded the videos, am still getting results time and time again from re-listening … think about it. That pretty much says all you need to know.


erika awakening


10 Ways to Piss Off Your Coach and Pay More for Coaching

10 Ways to Piss Off Your Coach and Pay A Higher Rate for Coaching

world peace with Erika AwakeningLet’s not beat around the bush here. I’m a damn good coach. Recently, a client manifested $100K in cash into her bank account after four sessions with me. That is the largest sum of money she has ever had in her bank account, ever. And although she had created an opportunity for that money to “show up” prior to re-hiring me, she was blocked six ways to Sunday about actually letting the miracle manifest. After four sessions, there it was. Miracle unveiled.

She is by no means unusual. I had a client a little while back who worked in the tech field. He worked for slave wages in the tech field for years. We did a five-session series, during which I encouraged him to set his sight higher. He bellyached and told me all the reasons why it was “impossible” for him to get a higher-paying job. Fast forward a very short time after our sessions: he lands a six-figure job for the first time in his life, and as far as I know, he still has it.

I had another client who was selling herself short on helping her family with elder care. I encouraged her to set her sights higher. I helped her negotiate a better deal. Now she has a fixed income, doesn’t have to work a job, and spends a good part of her time on very nice vacations. All of which we negotiated together with the help of our weekly or bi-weekly tapping sessions.

The list goes on and on … The client whose kidney failure started to reverse after a few sessions with me and got a new lease on life. The client who got paid back a seemingly hopeless $90K debt during the 15-Week Miracle Coaching program. The client who manifested back to herself every penny she ever paid me (and she paid me over six figures) in one epic, unexpected money miracle. The client whose father went into a “mysterious” and seemingly “impossible” remission from cancer during the 15-Week Miracle Coaching program (did I mention that we worked on father healing issues in our sessions together?).

Let’s also not forget: I have two cats alive with me right now who were both deemed by veterinarians to be “lost causes,” one four years ago and the other 15 months ago. My coaching method is, quite literally, death-defying.

My work speaks for itself. My work is worth millions and millions of dollars. Indeed, how much would a billionaire pay for their life to be saved? How much is a life worth?

So by all measures, no matter how high a rate you pay for my work, you are getting a bargain. That’s just the simple truth. I have developed a one-of-a-kind, doesn’t-exist-anywhere-else-on-this-planet coaching and healing system. And I have devoted vast sums of money and more than a decade of my life to do it.

I have also spent months not sleeping and living in squalor so that I could save lives when nobody else could do it, and later bring all that skill to each and every coaching session I do with you.

Every coaching session you do with me may be only 80 minutes long, yet it reflects YEARS of my investment in education and experience and dedication that are PRICELESS.

I bring to this work not only a decade of healing experience, but also the vast experience and pricey education I received at Stanford University and Harvard Law School, where I graduated near the top of my class and was an editor of the Harvard Law Review. I worked for years as a professional in some of the most prestigious legal jobs this country has to offer.

So … Let’s get something straight. I will be appreciated for the unparalleled devotion that I have brought to developing THE cutting-edge healing system on this planet, or I will have nothing to do with you.

On that note, here are 10 Ways to Piss Off Your Coach And Pay A Higher Rate for Coaching

#1 – Be A Pain in the Ass Instead of A Joy to Work With

Most of the time, I enjoy coaching a lot. When we are working as a team on a grand intention, I am in my groove. This is what I was put on the planet to do. What could be more fun than helping someone manifest miracles?

That is, unless that someone is a pain in the ass. Let’s see, showing up late for coaching sessions, missing sessions, refusing to cooperate in scheduling sessions easily, making excuses about scheduling your next session because you’re letting ego resistance sabotage your (often already very impressive) results.

Unacceptable. The policy already is that you will lose the minutes when you’re late to session, and forfeit the session if you are a no show. Apparently those policies still are not strict enough. In fact, from here on out, we are going to have tight expiration dates on sessions so that this does not happen anymore. I will make one or maybe two efforts to schedule your session. If you make this ridiculously difficult, I will wait for you to commit to a time that will be set in stone. You don’t show up, you lose the session.

Do any of these ten things repetitively, and you can expect that the rate for your next coaching package – if I am even still willing to work with you at all – will be at least five times higher.

#2 – Make Snarky Comments and/or Yell At Me During A Session

Umm, do I need to point out that this is unacceptable? Really? From here on out, anyone who does this, the session will be immediately terminated and you will not be able to make up those minutes.

I understand that my healing work triggers very deep emotional stuff for people, and that the temptation for projection and passive-aggressive lashing out behavior can be significant. Still … unacceptable. Treat me with respect or lose your coaching time and email support.

#3 – Pretend You Got that Amazing Result “All By Yourself”

Ah yes, one of my biggest pet peeves. Oh really? Now that we did these sessions together and you have your six-figure miracle … a miracle you were not able to achieve on your own for months or even years or decades before our sessions … you did it all by yourself and I get no credit for it?

Wow. Why don’t you go back and listen to your endless limiting beliefs and wailing about how you couldn’t do this in the first few sessions that we did? And then tell me you were congruent with the miracle at that time.

BULLSHIT. You got the miracle because I helped you get the miracle.

Fail to give credit where credit is due? Your next package will be priced at least ten times higher. Minimum $100K investment.

#4 – Get Huge Results and Not Write A Testimonial

how to attract money

How to attract money with EFT tapping

This goes with #3. This business relies largely on people understanding the value of the work. Indeed, reliably creating miracles is so far outside most people’s current understanding of the world that what I do simply “does not compute” in their brain. The best way for people to understand the value of the work is to hear from my current and past clients about how it worked for them.

Many of my clients have understood this and have written me spontaneous testimonials, for which I am deeply grateful. You can see some of those testimonials all over this website.

And then there are those gems, many of them the same people from #3, who don’t get it.

You want to fail to give credit where it’s due and make my marketing and outreach efforts 500 times harder by not writing testimonials when they clearly are called for? Your next coaching package will be at a ten times higher rate.

#5 – Have Lots of Money and Treat Me Like the “Hired Help”

Nothing gets my goat more than the stingy rich person. Let’s see, you think it’s going to sit well with me when we spent our sessions tapping about your private jet, your trips to Monaco hanging out with royalty … and then when it comes time to renew your commitment to the coaching method, YOU make money excuses. Seriously?!?

No no, then you have to add insult to injury and ask why my rates are not “competitive” with “the Rolfing guy”?

Wow. Just wow.

You sir, have business experience. You know full well the difference between a COMMODITY like Rolfing, and a one-of-a-kind coaching method that requires thousands of hours behind the scene to produce one 80-minute Skype session.

If you decide you are going to treat me like a commodity, and bitch about the coaching rates when you have far more than you need … then don’t bother coming back until you are willing to invest at least $250K for starters.

#6 – Invest the Money Miracles You Got With Me In Coaching with Douchebags

Yes, this did actually happen. We must remember how strong ego resistance is, and how much it loves to sabotage any real healing. This is why vigilance for ego resistance is so utterly critical to succeeding with this method.

If you manifest six figures with me, and then instead of re-investing in the coaching method that got you that cash … you go out and invest it with a bunch of smooth-talking douchebags who train you how to “control women” (I am not exaggerating).

And then you come back and actually expect that crap to FLY with me …

Holy crap. Wow did I tap a lot of anger. And guess what? You will never work with me again until you pay me not only what you would have been well served to pay me in the first place. I’m going to collect back pay for the tapping I did surrogately in response to your douchey behavior.

Minimum $100K coaching commitment, or I will never speak to you again.

#7 – Make Money Excuses When I Know How Much You Have Because I Helped You Manifest It

becoming fearlessLet’s see, you went from bare subsistence living to a fixed income and lavish vacations! All because of our sessions. And I know exactly how much you have and how it’s spent because … well, because you only have it because you did coaching with me!

Now, you start making money excuses because ego resistance has become high because we were about to get into the real healing work. And you actually expect me to swallow this crap?

Whoa. Jesus Christ. Just how stupid do you think I am?

You are not coming back until you are willing to negotiate for me and our work together the same way I showed you how to negotiate for yourself. $100K minimum coaching commitment.

#8 – Get Great Results and Don’t Post About Them on Facebook and Other Public Places

Your health or finances were saved, and now you are too embarrassed to tell your friends and family how you got the results?

Wow. I am speechless.

$100K minimum coaching commitment.

#9 – Cling Around My Neck and Sabotage My Other Relationships

Yep, we have had a couple of these. Not even worth going into the details. This coaching method is not about co-dependency. You will be expected to do the inner work and the outer work (i.e., action steps that I suggest). If you start getting into gossip, start private messaging me endlessly when you’re not in a formal coaching program with me, or otherwise make my life exceedingly difficult … you will be removed from my life and not coming back until I get back pay for the damage that was done.

#10 – Express Interest in Coaching Programs Without Being Prepared to Make An Immediate Financial Commitment and A Lifetime Commitment to Holistic Belief Reprogramming

Look, although right now I am leaning to work only with clients who make a six-figure commitment, I will still consider working with people who don’t have access to huge financial resources. However, don’t waste my time. Don’t even bother emailing me unless you have already thought through what you CAN offer and are prepared to make a commitment deposit immediately.

Likewise, I never, ever want to work again with a client who gets great results and then does not appreciate and give back to Holistic Belief Reprogramming. This coaching method is about going where no healer has ever gone before, getting results that are currently deemed by this world to be “impossible.” This method only thrives with devoted support from those who have benefited from it.

So from here on out, you want to coach with me, you are making a lifetime commitment to give back to this method – ESPECIALLY if you are one of the many who has had massive life improvements (health, financial, relationship) as a direct result of working with me. I am no longer going to put up with the crap described in this article.

Sign up for coaching with me ONLY if you are prepared to give back generously when you get your miracles. ONLY if you are devoted to healing the planet with this method for a lifetime. ONLY if you are going to be loyal and keep supporting us when the chips are down as they were last year when Harvey the Cat was deathly ill.

I do not need or want “fair weather friends.” I never again want to work with a client who acts in the ways described above. I want to work ONLY with people who think win/win and sincerely want for me and for Holistic Belief Reprogramming the same abundance and success that they desire for themselves.

This coaching method and I will be appreciated, or don’t let the door hit you too hard on the way out.

Except for the Intro session for new clients only, and the famous 15-Week Miracle Coaching Program, all coaching programs are now Bespoke. You treat me as anything less than pure gold, expect to pay a lot more. I will be compensated for any and all bullshit, or we will not work together.

Thanks for listening.


erika awakening