My anger is sexy :)

Wow, am I feeling triggered.

I just had another guy on Facebook spout out the “love is a gift, I shouldn’t have to make any commitments in my life” line of bullshit.

E. loves that one.

Not man enough to face me, E.?

Anyway, look and listen up, fuckers.

Love may be a gift, but that doesn’t mean you can go around doing whatever the fuck you want without any consequences. Let me give you some examples.

I have a house. That’s a commitment. If I commit to owning a home and then neglect it or don’t pay the property taxes, how do you suppose that’s going to turn out for me?

I have two cats. That’s a commitment. They have come to depend on me. If I don’t feed them or get them a cat sitter when I’m gone, how do you suppose that’s going to turn out for them?

I have clients. They pay me significant sums of money to provide a service. If I bail on giving what I promised, how do you think that’s going to turn out for both of us?

Conflict, destruction of relationships, destruction of lives, etc.

Love may be a gift, but it’s also a commitment. If you induce another human being’s vulnerability, then you’d better be prepared to follow through. Inducing another person to rely on you is a commitment.

If you want to enjoy the exquisiteness of a woman’s full surrender to you, then you need to provide a safe space for her to surrender into.

A safe space means eliminating the following words from your vocabulary: “needy,” “dramatic,” “self-absorbed,” etc. It means eliminating all judgments.

A safe space means continuing to show up even when you “don’t feel like it.”

It means thinking through BEFORE YOU GET YOURSELF INTO A SITUATION whether you’re going to be able to live up to what you promised.

Why on earth would any high self-esteem woman surrender to a man who is not providing a safe space?

How are you providing a safe space if your love is not constant, reliable, and real?

This is ultimately why I find myself turning down casual sex over and over and over again.

I seriously question whether I will ever have sex again. If I can’t trust a guy who spends months cherishing me and offering a safe space to open up into sexually, reassuring me every step of the way, then who can I trust?

What high self-esteem woman would put up with this shit?


And, yes, my anger is sexy. I express it freely, and real men love it.

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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  1. CONSULTORES says:

    Hola everyone i am new here….very interesting topic.
    Love is so complex and simple at the time, it depends how you want to see it, and i respect all points of views since we have all been through different situations…
    But what i can tell to MISHO is that if you have a good self esteem orgasms will keep you happy until a certain point, but after a while if you are looking a commited

  2. Blablabla … what a bunch of bullshit.
    The truth is if you find yourself a good "fucker", you know, the one that can give you powerful orgasms, even if he is 100% unreliable you will be drown to him :)

  3. I'm joining this a little late and may be confused, I have no idea what all this 'love is a gift' bullshit is. Love is just an emotion. It survives on energy and motion just like any other emotion. It's no more a gift (or a commitment) than sadness, anger, hate, happiness, joy, greed, jealousy, envy, misery or any of the rest. Sure love has been conceptualized, romanticized and

  4. I can't say read all of whats on here. In fact only read the top post.

    I suppose you must have great 'inner game' or 'high self esteem' or 'confidence' or whatever you want to call it be be able to work as a therapist.

    As for becoming involved with guys there are tonnes of guys with terrific self esteem. Some in this so called 'community'

  5. "Intimacy, by the way, shares her Latin root with Intimidate, Timid, and a host of other Fears."

    I feel blunt saying this but I am a linguist at heart and have to set the record straight on behalf of Latin: Intimacy and Intimidate do not share Latin roots. This is called "faux etymology."

    The truth is the verbal root of intimacy is -intimare- "make

  6. Looks like slut-a-thon-january is off then :o

    Im still going for 6. It'll be like golf.

  7. Tinque,

    Nice to hear from you. Love your new photo :)

  8. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  9. Anonymous… you have no idea…

    Erika, I'm totally attracted. :-)

  10. refreshing to hear (read)
    These conditions DO exist…

  11. Lol, touche :)

  12. Awww Man! Now you won't have sex! Bummer. As a reader of your posts, I was awaiting your lay reports.

    I feel led on.


  13. Yeah anger is sexy as long as it not directed to you, you just feel its projection :P

    If its towards you, it is defenitly a mood killer XD.

    N.E-WAY me LIKE this post long time.

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