Welcome to the blog, it’s so nice to have more women like yourself starting to find it and comment.

I’ve been getting a lot of questions lately about what led me here, so perhaps it’ll end up in a blog entry very soon.

So glad to hear about your successes with EFT. It really is a miracle.

Love,
Erika

Erika, I just wanted to say, I’ve read your entire blog from start to finish in the past hour. I’ve become really interested in EFT lately, and after one million obsessive google searches on it I happened upon the RSD thread on it. Being intrigued by your posts, I went onto your blog, and now I’m here. I’m glad I did! I found it really inspiring, and it makes me wish I knew you in real life! I hope one day to have achieved the same mindstate that you have now (minus the celibacy, lol, can’t ever see that being for me!). And, since I found the amazing EFT therapist I have now, the day may not be as far away as I once thought… from constant depression and anxiety to the calm and hopefulness and enthusiasm for life again that I have now after just one session… And this is only the beginning! EFT is exciting stuff! I’d love to know more about how you got to the place where you are now though, you don’t mention it much in the blog.

Anyway, I just wanted to show my appreciation. Keep posting!!!

Thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to comment. It feels good to me to hear someone else see the parallels between NVC and pickup. And I love your idea of a course on “NVC Seduction.” I’m on it.

For the uninitiated, ” ’07 IIT” refers to the 10-day Intensive International Training in Non-Violent Communication with Marshall Rosenberg that we attended in Albuquerque, New Mexico in December 2007. A transformative experience all around. You can learn more about Marshall and NVC on the http://www.cnvc.org website.

Re monogamy, it’s an open question for me, but I still have some serious reservations about whether it is ultimately a workable framework. I’m still very influenced by that quote from A Course in Miracles:

“It is sure that those who select certain ones as partners in any aspect of living, and use them for any purpose which they would not share with others, are trying to live with guilt rather than die of it. This is the choice they see. And love, to them, is only an escape from death. They seek it desperately, but not in the peace in which it would gladly come quietly to them. And when they find the fear of death is still upon them, the love relationship loses the illusion that it is what it is not. When the barricades against it are broken, fear rushes in and hatred triumphs.”

I’m open though, not sure how this will all play out and deeply intrigued by the possibilities.

entropy4.blogspot.com

I’m responding to this post and your request to the ’07 IIT folks for reflection.

Great blog so far, though I’ve only read a couple of posts. I’m a lifelong “polyamorist” myself.

I don’t share your querent’s belief that monogamy is based in insecurity. I believe that compulsory monogamy is enforced by insecurity, fear, shame, etc.–the usual tools of dominator culture.

It’s my experience that “monogamy” is a far more fluid expression than some may give it credit for–talk to any two couples and you’ll see they have very different standards (hopefully not too different within the couple!). Porn may be OK, or not, or even going out with the guys to a strip club, or whether he freaks out if she hangs out socially with an ex, etc.

I think it’s best for anyone to be clear and explicit about what they want, and what they want to avoid, in a relationship. I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir here.

Delighted to see your having an effect in a community like RSD Nation. I read How to Succeed with Women (well, still haven’t finished it) a while ago and did a lot of NVC “translating” to get through it, but I also found that there were significant parts that didn’t need translation–so much of it is about connecting with your own needs and not apologizing for them. Good stuff.

Thanks again, I’ll be following your blog.

Thanks so much for commenting. I am with you 100 percent. How liberating it is to free ourselves from shoulds and open up to the possibilities!

Lots of love,
Erika

We have so much more power and so many more options than we know – or can even imagine. Love, Rori