Comments on: "Harem Management" … a Lose/Lose Proposition?

By: Erika

Erika — Thu, 28 May 2009 01:43:26 +0000

Anonymous 9:24 am,

(Same Anonymous as on the other post, presumably)

Actually, no I don't see. And, actually, no I'm not judging you.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 27 May 2009 16:24:12 +0000

"Calling someone a bigot is essentially judging them for judging"

And now you are judging me for judging someone for them judging.

See how stupid this no-ego no-judgment stuff is when taken to the extreme?

By: Phoenix River

Phoenix River — Wed, 27 May 2009 13:00:22 +0000

Hey guys,

Very interesting subject. I've been wandering along the plains of relationships for a bit, trying out different things. I have to say, for me, the concept of 'building a harem' turns out a bit weird. It's all good that when I'm single I see different women and all of them know that nothing is carved in stone yet and that they can expect me to be scouting around when I'm not

By: Erika

Erika — Wed, 27 May 2009 01:05:32 +0000

Anonymous 8:51 am,

I don't agree with all of Dr. Dobson's views, but I find much of what he says helpful -- and I don't see other people offering what he offers.

Calling someone a bigot is essentially judging them for judging ... So I prefer to take what's helpful and leave the rest.

By: Poetry of Flesh

Poetry of Flesh — Tue, 26 May 2009 22:53:34 +0000

Re-reading this post a few times, I'm beginning to wonder if my idea of "harem management" is not accurate to that of the pick-up community.

I'm a woman. I'm incredibly emotionally monogamous. I give myself fully when in a relationship.

But I do keep what I call a "stable" of lovers when I'm single. (You'll also catch me referring to them as "rentals" when I'm feeling

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 26 May 2009 15:51:10 +0000

--The topic of "harem management" is very triggering for me (meaning, it triggers a lot of anger and sadness) ... it seems to be a phrase that is seething with disrespect for women. --

It's also a total joke snake oil peddled by fat losers like Frank B. Kermit, Johnny Soporno, and David X. I don't even want to IMAGINE what those harems look like.

Do you really take

By: Scarface

Scarface — Tue, 26 May 2009 09:49:24 +0000

Thank you for the reply Erika. Yeah I see that the most common problem is for women when it comes to this.
First they don’t know exactly what they do want, and what they absolutely don’t want. And if you don’t know what you exactly want, how can one be strong? I don’t know how one can be. I think in general men are a bit better in knowing what they exactly want, probably because they are

By: Erika

Erika — Mon, 25 May 2009 17:06:26 +0000

hi Scarface,

I agree about not blaming. This blog is about all the things you're mentioning: honesty, matching expectations, live and let live. I see a lot of people "glamorizing" the idea of a harem, without being fully aware of its drawbacks.

Also, I wish more women were standing up for themselves instead of going along with what a guy wants and then being unhappy about

By: Scarface

Scarface — Mon, 25 May 2009 07:45:45 +0000

My view is. A man either wants to commit himself to a woman or not. I think before getting involved it’s good to know what he wants at that moment/point. And then the woman can decide wether she is willing to go with what he wants at that moment. Same count for the man.
Problems do in my view only arise, when one doesn’t accept what the other wants and tries to change/manipulate the other in

By: Daria

Daria — Mon, 25 May 2009 07:02:44 +0000

Well...

the man who has multiple wives is also committed to them and the family,

and so is the man with multiple lovers maybe...

So commitment isn't the issue here, commitment to me sounds like an euphemism.

I'm looking for the feeling that FEELS TRUE... not for commitment in its million forms.