After anger clears, we get to what is really underneath all anger: grief.

As a blogger and a coach, I could sit here and pretend never to get sad. I could bombard you all with “positive thinking” all the time. But that’s not what gets people healed. What gets people healed is feeling all of their emotions in all their fullness, without judging them.

People desperately need to be heard, exactly as they are, exactly where they are, without being told that they “should” feel something other than what they feel.

On that note,

I feel very deep grief tonight at the loss of a connection that was so precious to me. And lost why? Because of fear. Only that. Fear of going deeper. Fear of staying present with the feelings that were coming up. Fear of receiving from the Universe something so breaktakingly beautiful, and daring to imagine it could endure.

I feel tremendous grief about the lost opportunity. The lost connection. The misunderstandings. The pain inflicted on each other. The pain felt by the community.

I feel devastated that we turned away from each other’s pain instead of sharing it and embracing it and honoring each other.

I feel sad at not having a chance to explore the tantra, the intimacy, the friendship, the possibilities for co-creation. I feel scared there won’t be another opportunity. I feel scared I won’t be able to open myself up to something like that again, or that even if I could, nothing quite that beautiful will ever come along again. I feel really scared I won’t be able to be that vulnerable, that trusting, that open, ever again.

Very much crying right now. I’ve cried a lot over this. Only now though does it feel like I’ve come into the fullness of the grief.

The grief of the separation from him, from all our brothers and sisters, and from God.