Comments on: Deep Comfort Game V: The Beauty and Power of Vulnerability (Mark Manson)

By: Erika

Erika — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 15:16:00 +0000

@ Entropy … :-p

Ummm… Entropy and I “opened” each other sight unseen, guys. And we were deep into the flirting and connecting before we ever exchanged photos. So there.

By: Entropy4

Entropy4 — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 07:51:00 +0000

Yeah… Erika totally gave me AI before I opened her… lol…

By: Erika

Erika — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 06:58:00 +0000

Entropy an Abercrombie model? Lol :-)

He's a cutie but you shoulda seen him on "fashion" day. He knows what I'm talkin' about :-p

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 01:59:00 +0000

i’m not sure if i agree with anonymous or not, you can make the story work but what mark doesn’t tell you is that he looks like a abercrombie model and more than half his lays are from when the girl already gives him a AI..
and i bet woo woo wont post this

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 00:06:00 +0000

Entropy you said that YOU have experienced different results in the field than what I said, but if you read what I wrote completely then you would see that I said for a newbie or intermediate it would be a DLV as generally speaking they wouldn’t 100% comfortable and it would be subcommunicated and would end up as a long-term loss in *attraction*.
I have used something very similar to this on multiple occasions and not been 100% comfortable sharing and it ended in losing the girl. I can run it now but before when my *inner game* wasn’t up to par it led to a loss. So both of our ideas on the topic are field tested, but this guy shouldn’t take either of our words for it and he should just field test it himself on girls and get his own *first hand* knowledge on the matter ;) as TD would say.

By: Rori Raye

Rori Raye — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 20:46:00 +0000

Fascinating. And – it’s all in how you do it – and how you do it that determines your “Degree of Difficulty” (my term) is all about your “vibe.” Women LOVE “sensitive” men. But for a man, the vibe has to be masculine, not feminine; active, not passive; positive, not negative. And it has to be SEXY. If you watched the bachelorette last year – she picked the happy one. The one with no baggage at all. The free as you please one. So – my two cents is to not tell about your past stories, period – unless it’s happy, adventurous, thrilling. Talking about going to Costa Rica and feeling terrified before jumping off a cliff into the water is good vulnerable. Talking about your unhappy childhood is hard – because it’s going to trigger something in the girl that may bring HER down. She may feel a fellowship with you, but it may not feel sexy. Or – if your vibe is really amazing – if you have SO made peace with your story – (like hearing Tony Robbins talk about his early life, or Wayne Dyer or Deepak Chopra…)you’re going to score bigtime with anyone. For me, the only way to work through this is to try it out. See how your story lands. You’ll know where you are with your vibe when you see your results. Every man is different. Every woman is different. Can’t wait to hear the guys weigh in more on this…Rori Raye

By: Dan

Dan — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 19:38:00 +0000

Enjoy the discussion.

I also wanted to thank you Erica, for the Course in Miracles plug. I picked it out of the library and I'm really enjoying it.

As to the whether the story is a DLV or not, I would say it depends on a) the person telling it and b) the person he's telling it to. Since my retirement from the Game, I've noticed things aren't as black and white as sometimes gets suggested on the marketing page.

In the case of this story, I would ask how important it is to the teller. If it's something important to you than I would tell it. Maybe she'll be impressed, maybe she won't.

But if she sees something meaningful to you as a DLV, that might be a sign that the two of you aren't all that compatible in the first place.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 05:26:00 +0000

For some odd reason I am hearing the song big pimpin in my head

lol

ah aka bd

By: Erika

Erika — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 18:53:00 +0000

@ Anonymous #1,

I'm sure no one will be surprised that I agree with Entropy here ;-)

What we learn in practicing NVC is that people *universally* respond to true vulnerability. Not 3 percent. I'm talking 100 percent.

Sure, with some people, they have a lot of defenses still, and it takes more effort to reach them. But *everyone* is reachable, and everyone fundamentally responds to vulnerability.

I'm curious whether you yourself judge people for their "baggage." I don't believe in that concept. Everyone simply has their areas that still need healing. That's all ... it's nothing to shy away from. We are here to help each other.

For me, a fundamental shift occurred in my dating life a year or so ago. Suddenly when I went out at night, it wasn't about "meeting a guy" and trying to get into a relationship. It was the realization that every encounter is holy, and that I have something to GIVE to every single person I meet, whether that be saying what they need to hear in that moment, offering a book recommendation or energy healing, or just offering true presence, etc. That fundamental shift is what led me to start having a huge abundance of men in my life. I was no longer trying to GET something from men, my focus shifted to what I am here to GIVE and to SHARE. One thing I give is true vulnerability, which offers people around me the permission to relax and share themselves.

By: Entropy4

Entropy4 — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 18:29:00 +0000

Anonymous: Again, disagree 100% and have experienced the complete opposite in the field time and time again.

Imagine this: you are capable of sharing any part of yourself, to any person, on any level, at any time, and be 100% comfortable with it.

How could that EVER be perceived as weakness?

On the contrary, that's emotional invulnerability, and that shit makes women melt.