This is going to be a very quick article …
I wanted to share with you an example of the power of core belief transformation, which is a fundamental aspect of my Holistic Belief Reprogramming coaching system.
One of the amazing things about HBR is that it can be applied equally to self and others. In fact, most of the “problems” that I can now unravel for my clients within one or two sessions are actually issues that I first learned to resolve in myself. And it took much longer to find the patterns in myself — sometimes months or even years. But once the pattern has been recognized, it can be instantly recognized in a new situation. That’s one of the huge benefits of hiring me as your coach rather than trying to do it by yourself. I’m going to save you all the frustration of trying to figure this stuff out and going down one dead end after another, because I’ve already been through the labyrinth and I know the roads that lead to freedom. :)
Anyway, a core belief of mine that I identified over the summer was “I’m not allowed to have sex.” I actually believe that, at a deeply subconscious level, many people share this belief. Our society imbues us with tons of sexual guilt and shame from the very beginning of our lives, as children, when sex is something “hidden” and “secret” and “off limits.”
Once a core belief is formed, the ego part of our self has all kinds of truly bizarre and circuitous ways of expressing the belief. I recently identified one of the ways my ego was reinforcing the belief “I’m not allowed to have sex,” and because it was so sabotaging to me in so many ways, I’m going to share it with you so you also can shine the light of conscious awareness on your belief system about sex and intimacy.
The core belief “I’m not allowed to have sex” was so strong in me that I found all kinds of ways to avoid sex. And these included holding on to conflicts in any relationship with a man if he and I had sexual chemistry with each other. The subconscious process going on was so subtle. At a deeply unconscious level, without understanding what was happening … I would feel sexual chemistry, and realize there was a possibility to have sex with this man, and immediately my mind would say “that’s not allowed” and come up with ways to sabotage it. The most clever way being to create a conflict with him and then refuse to allow the conflict to be resolved …
Unraveling this one has been sooooo liberating. I catch myself doing it now. “Ah, I’m not letting go of this conflict with this man. Why am I not letting go of this conflict? Ah, I feel sexual chemistry, and that scares me because of this core belief, that I’m not allowed to have sex, and that something bad will happen if I have sex.”
I also realized that if I did have sex, I believed it would lead to punishment. And so I would punish myself by creating and holding on to the same patterns of conflict. Unconscious self-punishment is one of the key patterns I look for in myself and my clients while resolving issues with HBR.
Once I can “see” the pattern, it immediately has way less power over me. It is no longer believable, because it is so ridiculous. :)
Indeed, so much of core belief transformation involves shining the light of conscious awareness on all the ego’s bizarre little tricks and shenanigans for keeping people separate and in conflict. Awareness is the first step. Full-on transformation is what I teach and practice in my sessions and in my 15-week Miracle coaching course.
After the belief has changed, the feelings also change. As I’ve been erasing all this sexual guilt and shame, and implanting the new belief that “I’m allowed to have sex,” my pelvis has come to life, and I can feel such intense sexual energy and chemistry and aliveness. I’ve been a magnet for men for quite a while now. Yet, as I’m doing this transformation of my core beliefs, there’s been a noticeable increase in the intensity, frequency, and proximity of my sexual connections with men. And a noticeable decrease in conflict. It’s out of my comfort zone, for sure, yet it feels like exactly the direction I’m meant to go right now. :)
And it’s not all about sex, either. Full-on transformation of core beliefs can change any area of our life, and move us from feeling blocked or frustrated to feeling powerful, alive, and even downright euphoric.
Transformation of core beliefs leads to results like what is described by my client Diego, in this spontaneous and uncompensated testimonial that he sent me on Monday:
“Hi Erika! It’s been a fantastic last couple of days! At the risk of sounding a tad cliche, I feel like I am watching my life change before my very eyes, day by day. Not necessarily as a measure of external ‘deeds’ or what may you have, but merely by how I FEEL and perceive the world around me. Just the other afternoon I felt pretty much like being in love… except with no one in particular. Just life, in general. :)”
To learn more, check out my 15-Week Miracle Coaching Course here.
Love,
Erika