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Why I Practice Celibacy

Why I Practice Celibacy

Why I practice celibacy has been a frequent topic of conversation among my friends lately, so I decided to articulate the reasons here. It has been over four years that I’ve been celibate. It’s to the point now where I won’t even make out with a guy. I still love hugging, cuddling, holding hands. Basically anything that I’d be willing to do with anyone and publicly as an expression of affection is still fair game.

To be clear, I love men. I spend a lot of time with men. And I still feel that primal sensual energy that I used to channel into dating and sex. (I love women, too, btw.)

Why why why be celibate? That is the question I get all the time. Even devoted readers of A Course in Miracles ask me about this. So here goes:

1. There is no pleasure without pain.

Many people think that bodily pleasure is harmless. By now, I disagree. “This world” is a world of duality. If you want bodily pleasure, you must accept pain. That is not a price that I am willing to pay anymore. So I practice celibacy.

2. The search for bodily pleasure keeps us trapped in the Matrix.

A Course in Miracles teaches: “It is impossible to seek for pleasure through the body and not find pain. It is essential that this relationship be understood, for it is one the ego sees as proof of sin. It is not really punitive at all. It is but the inevitable result of equating yourself with the body, which is the invitation to pain. For it invites fear to enter, and become your purpose. The attraction of guilt must enter with it, and whatever fear directs the body to do is therefore painful. It will share the pain of all illusions, and the illusion of pleasure will be the same as pain.”

3. What did sex ever give me that lasted more than a moment and ended up being worth anything?

4. When sexual politics are removed from relationships, they become fun again. There is no agenda. There is total freedom to connect in the moment. There is true emotional intimacy and peace and joy.

5. Sex is by its nature exclusionary. I don’t see any way to participate in it without choosing among my brothers. And I’m no longer willing to choose among my brothers, because we are all equals and the same. My goal is to love everyone equally. So I practice celibacy

6. I want out of the Matrix, and letting go of bodily goals and the search for pleasure is, indeed, the only way out … So I practice celibacy

Mark my words, sex is going the way of the manual typewriter, the eight-track cassette, and men wearing wigs and knickers. One day very soon we will all be scratching our heads wondering why we bothered with such an awkward, silly, angst-ridden activity. ;-) And lots of people will be practicing celibacy.

Love,

erika awakening

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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Comments

  1. fun-da-mental says:

    Aloha Erica, in the article you say:
    ““This world” is a world of duality. If you want bodily pleasure, you must accept pain. That is not a price that I am willing to pay anymore…”

    …maybe you must explain whether that does also relate to for example enjoyin good food, relaxing, having an inspiring walk in nature and so on… – Won’t that also have it’s painful counterpart? Hence better refrain from all pleasurable activities so as not to pay the price with the subsequent pain which inevitably follows…?!

    • Erika Awakening says:

      Being is not the same as physical pleasure. The difference is whether the focus is on what the body is feeling versus just being with God. In being there is joy that is not dependent on the body.

      • fun-da-mental says:

        But why then do you seem to so exclusively focus on sex? Why not broaden the topic to ALL bodily pleasures?

      • Erika Awakening says:

        Hi Fox, did you miss the articles about being vegan? It’s a holistic lifestyle and it’s not focused on pleasure. It’s focused on what kind of values we want to perpetuate in the world … Like being free from addictions and not killing each other, including our animal brothers and sisters …. http://erikaawakening.com/beginners-guide

        As well, getting off the hamster wheel means no longer being addicted to any form of “pleasure” … including social approval … http://erikaawakening.com/getting-off

        Our brand new 30-Day Social Freedom Challenge is focused on freeing ourselves from “social control” in the form of disapproval, among other topics – http://tapsmarter.com/social-freedom

        Thanks for stopping by :)

  2. Arika White says:

    "5. Sex is by its nature exclusionary. I don’t see any way to participate in it without choosing among my brothers. And I’m no longer willing to choose among my brothers, because we are all equals and the same. My goal is to love everyone equally." Does one thing always have to come at the cost of another? If you love someone exclusively do you hate all others? In other words if you are having a special relationship you aren't necessarily cheating someone else out of having their own special relationship?

    • Erika Awakening says:

      If you love someone exclusively, you not only hate all others. You also hate the person you claim to love, and you hate yourself.

  3. Turin*otzaki says:

    Erica you said – 5. Sex is by its nature exclusionary. I don't see any way to participate in it without choosing among my brothers. And I'm no longer willing to choose among my brothers, because we are all equals and the same. My goal is to love everyone equally.

    My goal is to also love everyone equally. But what if its ok to express that love differently with differnt people,

  4. Maximus says:

    You of course have the right to your own opinions and decisions. I just wanted to make a coment from my perspective that offers a counterpoint.

    Much of what you wrote here and on other posts that I have been perusing (as I am enjoying your writing :) )remind me of transcendental meditation stuff. Alot of hippie new age type people talk about “transcending”, “ascending”, “ascended

  5. Anonymous says:

    haha so funny, i have been celebate for six years. am a devout practicing forgiveness student and a pretty snappy looking woman. i didn’t plan it, i have no reason for it, energy in that area just shifted.
    your willingness to “throw it all on the table” is refreshing.

    Lee

  6. Erika says:

    Hi Anonymous,

    Thanks for chiming in. Lol :-) Yes, that’s certainly a good question Actually, I believe that time and space (and therefore also birth and death) are illusions. In other words, I believe that consciousness (not the body) is the source of all life and creation. But that’s a longer discussion that I’ll save for another time.

  7. Anonymous says:

    How were you or any of your friends born? How was your dog born? How is any animal born? I do not mean to say there is no God. I believe there is God…but for you to be alive right now writing this post means your parents had sex.

  8. Fran says:

    I how found this blog very fascinating and I appreciate your willingness to share your spiritual path as it pertains to sex and dating. For me, the question is how can I have sex and a love relationship without getting attached, wanting ego validation or believing in the specialness of either myself or my partner. I am no way near being able to do this so all options must be considered.

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