Mark Manson Seduction in How Not to Attract Women Because It’s Dishonest and Unethical
So I have a flirtation going with a guy (Mark Manson aka Connection Guy, and if he wants to reveal his identity in the comments section, that is his prerogative). This Mark Manson is so masterful at reframing, leading, and generally keeping us engaged in a secure emotional connection that it seems like others might benefit from seeing how he does it.
How it feels to me as a woman is that this is a guy who can be counted on. [Editor’s note: unfortunately that turned out to be false.] He doesn’t run away from scary emotions. [actually run away is exactly what Mark Manson does] Our connection feels solid. When I feel that kind of emotional security, I feel a lot of space to let my sexiness and feminine energy out to play.
With some details edited out for privacy, here are some of our exchanges:
Me: I’m confused about what you mean by [concept he had talked about] …
Mark Manson aka Connection Guy: Don’t think about it too much sweetheart, I prefer to do all the thinking for my women anyway… ;)
[Note: This works because Mark Manson aka Connection Guy plays on our masculine/feminine polarity but also he makes it clear he’s joking and then goes on in an edited-out portion to give a sincere explanation.]
Me: I wonder if you’d be able to get past my LMR. I kinda think not as long as [girl objection], unless I had symmetrical situation. a lot of my LMR is really a question – “can this guy really be there for me emotionally?”
Mark Manson aka Connection Guy: I rarely try to overcome LMR. I just don’t get it in the first place. :) In my mind, if I ever run into LMR, then I’ve already failed. You would be no different. Make no mistake, … I have every intention of sleeping with you. I’m not going to hide that or pretend otherwise. But I don’t want it to happen without a deep and genuine emotional connection first. To do it any other way is selling ourselves short, as I think we have the potential to be and create a lot.
[Note: This works because he takes full responsibility for everything that happens, which is sexy enough, and then he tops it off by communicating clear and unapologetic masculine intent toward me. Even better, he then makes it abundantly clear that his interest in me is also emotional and long-term. He has just given me both of the things that a woman needs to unleash her femininity with a man: attraction and comfort.]
Me: oh, deep breath. exhale. that one I felt in my little girlie parts and my heart. it feels like you pulling me in to your chest and holding me there. nice :-)
Mark Manson aka Connection Guy: [proposing a time for us to see each other]
[Note: it’s sexy because he is leading the interaction again.]
Me: Uh-oh I’m in trouble now huh?
Mark Manson aka Connection Guy: The best kind me trouble :)
Me: How come I have this feeling that we’re going to be in each other’s lives for a while.
Mark Manson aka Connection Guy: I’m pretty hard to get rid of. :)
[Note: Again, he is reassuring me that he has a deeper, longer-term emotional interest in me.]
Me: The true test is whether you still say that after sex.
Mark Manson aka Connection Guy: Mmm… It depends on how well you cuddle. :)
[Note: Cute. He is keeping it light and comfortable and again focusing on the girlie emotional aspects to give me reassurance.]
Mark Manson aka Connection Guy: [more logistics about meeting, details are uncertain] Don’t know yet. We’ll figure something out.
[Note: It’s very effective when he says “We’ll figure something out.” Why? Because he’s making it clear that he’s leading and in charge and there’s nothing to worry about. He’s subcommunicating that he is a man who doesn’t let logistical difficulties get in the way of what he wants. And he is saying “we,” as in, “we are a team on this.”]
Me: This vulnerability stuff is overrated. Raw and painful.
[Note: When a woman shares painful emotions, she is often looking to see if you are going to accept all parts of her and give empathy rather than judging her.]
Mark Manson aka Connection Guy: Don’t be a wuss.
[Note: Lol … It’s not empathy, but it’s fine because it’s playful.]
Me: I feel very torn about ever having sex again.
Mark Manson aka Connection Guy: Now you’re being dramatic. If I could I’d call you right now.
[Note: Again, “you’re being dramatic” is not empathy, and it’s definitely not recommended with a girl who doesn’t know you very well. He only gets away with it because he has already built a lot of trust with me so I assume a caring intention. Also, by saying he’d call right now if he could, he is leading and showing caring and supportiveness. He is responding to my emotional pain, which is what ultimately matters. Note the difference between responding to it in a compassionate way versus joining in it from an earlier post. When people are expressing pain, it can almost always be construed as a request to help them feel better.]
Me: That’s what I mean. I’m not normally all weepy like this. I want to have stable relationships.
Mark Manson aka Connection Guy: Maybe four years left you out of practice?
[Note: This is fine because it’s partly playful and partly a sincere question. By using the word “maybe” he leaves it open-ended enough that I don’t feel like he is presuming anything. He is helping me go deeper with what is going on for me, and at the same time it’s a subtle reframe — he’s subcommunicating that maybe the problem is not sex but just that it had been so long and now I need some readjustment. See just how much can be communicated in a few words?]
Me: Like with you, our connection matters way more to me than having sex. If I’m gonna turn into a hairtrigger basket case then I’d rather not.
[Note: I am expressing a LOT of vulnerability here, really exposing my soft underbelly. I only feel safe doing this with him because of the trust that he has already built with me and my confidence that he is not going to judge me.]
Mark Manson aka Connection Guy: You can’t tame the beast if you don’t let it out of the cage. I have to go. I will talk to you soon.
[Note: See how he’s continuing the reframe? He’s giving me a way to see having sex as a way to calm down the painful emotions that I’m having and suggesting that it’s just a phase I’m going through right now. Which is probably true and helps me feel better because I see that he is probably right. Then he authentically needs to go, so he expresses that in a very straightforward direct way. But — and this is key — he closes with “I will talk to you soon.” And since he has already spent quite a bit of time building trust with me, those words sound very solid and reassuring to me. He is subtly keeping us connected even when he is not available. This feels really good to me, and eliminates any upset that a girl might have from disconnecting. It all feels very smooth and natural.]
With consistent dialogue along these lines over the course of several months, Mark Manson aka Connection Guy has built a ton of attraction and comfort. He has also in other dialogues that I didn’t share here been vulnerable with me in a masculine way. Mark Manson aka Connection Guy has established what feels like a very solid emotional connection, which makes me feel sexy and free to express my feminine self.
So that was the original post. When this was shared on RSDNation, the men there all agreed that Mark Manson aka Connection Guy was creating VERY long-term relationship expectations with me. Unfortunately, it turned out he was lying and pretending to get me into bed, as we cover the sad ending of the Mark Manson seduction here.
On a lighter note, you may enjoy:
About the Author:
Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening
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