How to Attract Women: Push Pull Seduction Explored PUA
All right, so the very fun article below was written by my friend Eight. We are talking about the art of push-pull seduction. Eight actually is not a new PUA (for the uninitiated, PUA means “pickup artist”). He has been around and has gone by other names. He has even commented on this blog a few times, mostly when he became concerned that I might never have sex again ;-)
He posted this awesome article on Paragon Project which is a PUA forum.
So now I’m turning it over to PUA Eight, and I’ll be back with some of my own commentary at the end of his article:
Push Pull Seduction Explored
I’m going to refer to the movie “Twilight” in this article, because it’s a great example of Push Pull in action.
The Player is one of the first guys who come to mind whenever I think of PUSH game. He’s a great PUSHER. Constantly playing-with, and challenging the girl to prove herself to him. Girls WANT a PUSHER, because he’s so hard to get. They chase.
In the beginning of the movie “Twilight”, the vampire dude, Edward, is ALL push. He makes it clear he wants nothing to do with her. He says things like “if you were smart, you’d stay away from me”, and “just forget about me, let it go”. Notice how the girl reacts. She can’t get him out of her mind. She pursues him.
There are other guys, like myself, who are very PULL oriented. Constantly taking things sexual and PULLING the girl in with reward of positive emotions. Girls WANT a PULLER, because he’s so intense. They submit.
Again, in “Twilight”, notice how Edward is all PULL once she knows he’s a vampire. He keeps saying things like “You’re my own personal brand of heroin” and “I’ve never wanted a human as badly as I want you”. It’s like a dagger of sweet poison to the girl’s heart, further increasing her desire for him.
What’s the most solid path here? To be a PULLER or a PUSHER?
The answer is: BOTH!
To send mixed messages, to Push AND Pull. But alot of guys think about this too literally, and they try to seperate the two, or they rely too heavily on one or the other. Or they use them at the wrong times.
Let’s swing back to our character study here, and see why all the girls love the “Twilight” movie: because it’s a story of Push Pull seduction.
And here’s what I really want to emphasize about Push Pull..
It’s not just a duality.. it can actually be effectively used as a PROGRESSION!
Push –> Pull/Push in Conflict –> Pull
Let’s start with PUSH.
The thing about pushing is, alot of guys think that the Pushing itself is what makes girls attracted. It’s not. You need to already DHV yourself somehow. The pushing is a placebo effect. It’s an AMPLIFIER of your DHV, by making her want it more because it’s harder to get.
It could be your looks. It could be your sense of humor. It could be your style. Your presence. Your charisma. Whatever. We all have natural DHV’s, it’s just a matter of figuring out what yours are, and honing your most attractive qualities.
In other words, you should already be able to draw out IOI’s or SOI’s from her… to be able to generate basic Interest.
Push Pull works best as a way to “Launch” off of her Interest, into generating Attraction.
So once she’s throwing signals at you, pushing comes into play, as a flirtation technique. Challenging. You can do it two ways:
Making yourself a challenge
“I’m bad for you. I’m such a nympho. I’d just get you addicted to sex.”
“I’m a heartbreaker. You’d end up falling in love with me. Let’s just be friends.”
Challenging the girl
“You’re too young for me. I’d have to hold your hand when we cross the street and stuff, and buy you popsicles all the time.”
“You’re so conservative. I like girls who are passionate and fun.”
Whenever you make challenges, be sure to make the challenging statement with an EXPLANATION. Don’t just say “you’re too shy” or “I’m too tall for you”. You need to explain why that is a disqualifier, even if your reason is silly or humorous.
Again, like all attraction techniques, an always solid route is a middle-path that combines the two. Use both. Disqualify yourself, and her, to bait her into disagreeing with you and proving herself, or explaining why the two of you WOULD be good together.
Another duality comes into focus here, where the TONALITY of how you CHALLENGE can be one of two methods:
This really depends on your personality and whatever vibe you have rocking with the girl.
Swinging back into the progression here.. once your Challenges have begun to take noticeable effect (she’s chasing you, or qualifying herself), then you can swing into a CONFLICT of Pull and Push.
This is where you begin expressing intent, with simultaneous messages of Disqualification.
You begin pulling, but you PUSH yourself, or her, away.
Express intent, then use it as an excuse to disqualify her, yourself, or the idea of the two of you being together.
An example would be:
“I’m beginning to like you too much. We can’t hang out anymore.”
So what we’re talking about here is a PULL, capped off with a PUSH.
This works well when the girl has already responded to your PUSH phase, by being lured in. Don’t do it earlier, because it won’t work too well before you’ve gotten her invested in you.
The desired response is, of course, that she responds by further qualifying. Qualifying either herself, (“I’ll be a good girl, I promise!”), or qualifying you (“Noo.. I like you! Stay!”).
Once she’s invested on this level and qualified, you can move into pure PULL.
This is expressing solid INTENT. It’s your REWARD to her.
Usually at this phase, I don’t use words to pull. My pulling is primarily physical.. Intense eye-contact (aka “Eye-sex”), close physical proximity.. Sexual touching.. Dominant physicality (pulling her against me.. pressing myself against her..).
Words in the “Pull” phase, I find, can get corny or sappy really easily, and guys who aren’t too experienced with it may actually fuck up by making Low Value statements such as “I Neeeed you” and “I want you so badly, it makes me cry!”.. So, I recommend you don’t even BOTHER to Pull verbally.. trust in your physicality to communicate that for you.
You can maintain playful or serious Push/Pull flirting if you feel an absolute need to be verbal during the PULL phase. Just make sure the physical aspect is there to trigger her body’s natural, instinctive, sexual response triggers.
So there you have it. Push Pull Seduction in a nutshell.
Push (be a challenge, bait her to disagree)–> Pull/Push (communicate intent, disqualify, bait her to qualify herself or you)–> Pull (reward with sexual physicality).
Awesome article about push pull seduction, don’t you think? I told you I have great taste in men :-)
Anyway, let’s now throw in Erika’s spiritual twist on push-pull. I have quoted the Tao before on this blog:
“Be really whole, and all things will come to you.”
Push-pull is really nothing more than another form of “wholeness.” Deep down, all of us want love, and all of us are scared of love. So in truth we have mixed feelings. When someone expresses all push or all pull, we feel scared or disconnected.
Whereas … when someone expresses both sides of that push-pull duality to us in some way, shape, or form, we feel understood and we feel comfortable. We feel free to be ourselves. We feel our own wholeness. And that’s when we can become one with the other person. The implications of which are obvious for seduction purposes ;-)
Presto: Push Pull Seduction.
Ok, tonight was my last night of Integrating the Shadow Self and immersing myself in Deep Inner Game.
Tomorrow … normal social activities recommence. So make sure to check back here often for all of my latest seduction adventures. As PUA Eight says, “Game on!”
Be Sure to Check Out: How to Attract Women – The Ultimate Guide by Erika Awakening
About the Author:
Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening
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