This one is going to be real quick cuz I’m heading out the door …
2. Don’t Break Rapport When She’s Being Nice to You
At Mehow’s conference, DJ Fuji (who always gives a very professional presentation, btw) reminded me of this one. The way Fuji put it is: “Don’t be an asshole when she’s being nice to you.”
Entropy talks a lot about creating and breaking rapport in his e-book, and it is absolutely essential to develop calibration about when to do which one. Because nothing will kill an interaction with a girl faster than “punishing” her when she’s being sweet to you.
I was texting with a guy a few weeks ago when I really noticed this one big time. He had generated a ton of “compliance” from me. We were brainstorming together, and I was contributing my ideas to the situation. I was heavily into win/win mode and had just had a really good idea, which I told him about. I’ll paraphrase our text conversation below
At first, he continued rapport …
Him: See, now you’re thinking.
Me: Oh, I’m just getting started baby :-)
See, from my perspective, we’re vibing now, and what would have kept us in that space is him either encouraging me or adding another idea, riffing with me. But instead he says something like:
Him: Talk is cheap.
Wow, talk about all the air going out of the balloon. At which point I noticed that this was actually something that had happened a bunch of times in our interactions, and it was destroying my sense of trust. So I asked him how come he breaks rapport with me when I’m trying to work with him and explained that it’s not good for my inspiration. The response was not inspiring. Instead of seeing my perspective, he made it seem like I need to “work” for his attention. Eventually after this happened a bunch of times, I just didn’t feel very invested in the connection anymore. The sincerity and trust and kindness and accountability that are absolutely essential for me in a relationship with a man were not there.
So yeah, number two on the “don’t do” list is don’t break rapport when she’s vibing with you.
1. Don’t use “you statements.”
2. Don’t break rapport with the girl when she’s being nice to you.
About the Author:
Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening
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