A blog reader sent me this question a few days ago (I’m answering it on blog with his permission):
I recently stumbled across your blog. Very, very thought-provoking and well worth the read. …
So I have a question for you: have you always been this spiritually oriented? And If not, what prompted you to begin taking an interest in such matters?
Also, how did you go about educating yourself in these things? (To borrow your own words, how did you “clear out your negative emotions and judgments and become the loving Presence that naturally exists underneath all that”)?
Thanks for the fun question. As I sometimes do, I’m going to give you the short answer right now and circle back with a longer answer later if the spirit moves me.
The Short Answer
Three years ago I started meditating. Very soon thereafter, I almost died. I had a minor medical procedure that resulted in rare and catastrophic side effects.
So while I was lying in a hospital bed for a week, hooked up to an IV with doctors and my family panicking around me, immobilized and in so much pain that I couldn’t move or sleep or barely even breathe, feeling as helpless and vulnerable as it is possible to feel … I had some conversations with the Big Man Upstairs.
God, I see now that I’ve been living my life all wrong. I feel disconnected from the people around me, and even though I’ve had all these superficial successes, I feel deeply unfulfilled. I know it’s not my time to die yet, though. I want to have a really good relationship. I want to contribute to the world. And I just know I have some more ski days left in me. I’m not ready to go yet, God.
So if you give me another chance, I promise you that I will live my life differently.
It took several months to recover fully. After that happened, my priorities changed completely. And I began my journey down the rabbit hole, which continues to this day. Whereas previously I had been focused on individual achievement, my primary focus shifted to people and connections and contributing to the world the best I know how. Every step of the way, I have been guided by a loving Presence. You might say that after that week in the hospital, I turned my life over to God.
As for how I did it, I used every tool mentioned in this blog: EFT, Holosync meditation, non-violent communication (NVC), and reading and re-reading A Course in Miracles. I listened to lots of e-books, like Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer and Eckhart Tolle. I went religiously to NVC practice groups. I went to NVC retreats and silent meditation satsang retreats. I visited healers. I went to 10 days of intensive training in NVC. I did hypnosis and all kinds of other interesting processes. I meditate many hours each day (including to Holosync while I sleep). I became a Reiki healer.
And I started noticing my thoughts and cleaning them up. I watch my thoughts carefully for unforgiving ones, and I correct them. I watch my feelings carefully for negative ones, and I get present with them and dissolve them. If I see someone who needs my help, I try to help him as best I can.
I also do my best not to care about outcomes anymore. What matters to me now is the quality of connection that I have with each person. I see every single relationship in my life as a total commitment.
About the Author:
Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening
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