I’ve been experiencing something I don’t remember feeling in a long, long time. It happened when I let go of the last of my worldly goals, which was having a baby. I got some really powerful spiritual guidance on that one. Impossible to ignore. So I let go of that goal, and something magical happened:

A new kind of happiness that I’ve never experienced before. Spaciousness. What rushed in to fill the space was a huge amount of appreciation. And presence. Suddenly, I find myself appreciating my morning cappuccino, my car, my house in Tahoe and the wine cellar we built, the songs on the radio, my cats, my friends, playing Bingo at Ace Wasabi, my dad, the feeling of my long hair in the wind, the people smiling everywhere on the street, the patience of someone who lets me cut into traffic, the fun of reading and commenting on other people’s blogs … I mean literally every little thing suddenly seems totally amazing and cool.

A Course in Miracles says:

“The plans you make for safety all are laid within the future, where you cannot plan. No purpose has been given it as yet, and what will happen has as yet no cause. Who can predict effects without a cause? And who could fear effects unless he thought they had been caused, and judged disastrous now? Belief in sin arouses fear, and like its cause, is looking forward, looking back, but overlooking what is here and now. Yet only here and now its cause must be, if its effects already have been judged as fearful. And in overlooking this, is it protected and kept separate from healing. For a miracle is now. It stands already here, in present grace, within the only interval of time that sin and fear have overlooked, but which is all there is to time.”

“Be not content with future happiness. It has no meaning, and is not your just reward. For you have cause for freedom now.”

It seems like I’m finally starting to get it …..