Someone asked me to elaborate on this … so here goes.

I don’t like condoms because they are a cop-out. They are too “easy.”

I hate how they feel. It’s like someone took the saran-wrap out and drooped it all over everything, and how can anyone stand the drippy, icky way they feel after they’ve been used?

Let’s go deeper. I feel sad when I see a used one on the sidewalk, all droopy and pathetic. What I envision is some anonymous encounter where neither person ever really connected.

Let’s go deeper. Let’s see … I’m going to engage in this incredibly intimate act with someone and then … well, it’s like wearing gloves to shake hands. How impersonal does that feel?

No … I tell you what. You want to have sex with me? Then there are no cop-outs. We go all the way. I only want to have sex with a man who understands what that means to a woman, deep down, emotionally, in her core. If I get pregnant, you’re with me. We are in this together.

Condoms are a shortcut. I’m not interested in shortcuts. They feel like a barrier. They feel like a way of avoiding true intimacy.

If we go all the way, we go ALL the way. The emotional intimacy needs to match the physical intimacy.

Otherwise, I’ll take my abstinence any day. I feel happy in my abstinence until the day my man shows up … the one who’ll go with me all the way. The one who’ll be by my side for the rest of my life in this incarnation.

That’s why I don’t like condoms. That’s why I won’t use them.

When I say no to condoms, men have no choice but to face whatever they’ve been avoiding when it comes to intimacy.

No condoms, no casual sex, no disconnected sex, no being a “girlfriend.” Either we are just friends, or you are the man who’s here with me for the duration.

I feel happy to express all that. :-)

Thanks for listening.


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