Tantric Dating: The Art of Building Passion and Intimacy by Taking Sex Slow

Tantric Dating: The Myth of Fast Sex Revisited

“Sex is a conversation carried out by other means. If you get on well out of bed, half the problems of bed are solved.”

- Peter Ustinov

I am sitting here at my kitchen dining table as I write these words. My new friend is serenading me, singing with his guitar, rehearsing for a performance he has tomorrow by Lake Tahoe. He played for us all day yesterday, and I asked him to play again today. The soulful music is helping me tap in to my desire to write again after a long hiatus.

From across the room, I am inhaling his musky scent, mixed with leather from the couches and earthy rain outside and the hot fire burning in the wood stove. Last night, we soaked in the hot tub endlessly again, talking talking talking. Then we stood in the rain shower, one spigot hot and one cold as has become our ritual, talking talking talking, as the delightful contrast of hot and cold water pours down our faces and bodies. Our conversations light me up inside, because unlike so many people on this planet, he is alive.

Like me, he walked away from the trappings of “success” – prestige, extreme athleticism, the relationship house and business – and reduced his life to absolute simplicity and essence. That’s why it’s so easy to connect. We are both stripped down, naked to our values. There’s not a lot of bullshit in the way. ;)

Our second chakras connected last night. It happened suddenly, when I turned my hips toward his pelvis while we were cuddling. “Wow,” I said, “do you feel that?” He did. Like star bursting from the second chakra on up to the heart in kundalini fire. It felt so intense, it took my breath away. There was no penetration. I can still feel the glow of our connection.

He’s definitely the kind of man with whom I have an intense soul connection. My soul partners are always musicians, athletes, storytellers, with high need for freedom, and their right brain fully engaged. They often live on the fringe of society, like me. They are tuned into the intuitive flow of the Universe, which creates the delightful river of conversation, the outpouring of music, the touch on the skin that brings my whole body and soul alive.

This is how I want to live, where life becomes music whether a guitar is serenading me or not. The conversation is music, the touch is music, the flow of coming closer and moving farther apart, and inviting each other deeper … is all music … and the sex, when it comes will be … well, you get the idea … ;)

(He just looked up from his guitar and asked “is the music helping your writing?” I laughed, because he has no idea what I’m writing. “Yes, it’s helping.” What do you all think, is it helping?)

I’ve had amazing sex in my lifetime. There’s nothing mechanical about it. It doesn’t require a lot of role-playing or pretense … it’s definitely not strained imitation of porn flicks … The more stripped down we both are, emotionally and spiritually naked, the better it is. Amazing sex is always like being carried away in powerful music, losing oneself in the flow of Love and Life. I really don’t see a reason to settle for anything less. That’s why I haven’t had sex, again, for two and a half years.

It would have been easy to rush into sex. The second time we soaked in the hot tub, in the bright sunshine under the towering firs and Jeffrey pines that surround my home, and he touched me for real for the first time … it was pure electricity, and it was mutual. Over the next 24 hours, I felt everything in me opening and coming alive. (Want a glimpse of this aliveness? check out the Facebook video from the next day here, and you’ll see what I’m talking about.)

It would have been easy to let one thing lead to another … and rush in, without taking the time to get to know each other on a deeper level.

It would have been easy to be carried away with passion, and forgetting about having all those oh-so-important conversations about what kind of relationship we might enjoy, monogamy and polyamory, about keeping the house clean, about money … It would have been easy to rush in without first having some tough situations arise to see how we navigate conflict or anger together … without talking about mistakes we have made in relationships in the past, and how we intend to avoid repeating those mistakes.

It would have been easy to have sex quickly, and it would have been a mistake.

A year or so ago, I made the decision that I would not be rushed into sex, no matter how strong a connection with a man. I feel relieved about how strong I’ve been the past couple of years, as I consistently turned down the sexual opportunities that arose. I said no because it did not feel good. I could see clearly having sex in those situations would leave me in pain and anger. I never want to do that again.

So the connection is building slowly. No more being swept off my feet. Tonight we are going to yin yoga for more flow and presence. Then perhaps we’ll repeat our ritual of making creative moonshine cocktails, soaking endlessly in the hot tub under the stars, and allowing the waterfall of the rain shower to pour over us … Perhaps we will lie naked together on the bed again, breathing deeply and allowing the sexual tension to build and build and build … without acting on it …

And I’m so, so happy we are doing it this way. How could anyone argue that rushing into sex is better than this slow building of connection, intimacy, and sexual tension?

For years, I taught men in the seduction community about authentic connection with
women. In that community, I was a lone wolf voice in favor of not rushing into sex. I myself have practiced celibacy for extended periods of time, as long as nearly five years.

When I wrote about slowing things down, I felt puzzled to be on the receiving end of so much hostility, criticism, and resistance.

Why are we so scared to slow down this process? Do we really think a relationship that is meant to be will fizzle out while building connection, intimacy, and sexual tension?

Just what is it that people are so scared of, they rush into sex … often drunk … before ever talking about anything real? Isn’t talking the real foundation of all of it?

For me, great conversation is so exhilarating that it’s right on a par with amazing music, with amazing sex, with transcendent enjoyment of every kind … Why are we not all starting there? I call it Tantric Dating. It’s time to slow the f*ck down and build it …

What do you think?


erika awakening

Say Goodbye to Being Swept Off Your Feet: A New Approach to Dating

I am not the same person I was a year ago.

Over the past few years, I’ve spent an enormous amount of time in solitude and celibacy. No need to roll out the pity party. After all, like many of you, I’ve been on a quest for personal transformation. Let’s face it, it’s not easy to break free from a lot of unconscious programming if we continue on in relationships that reinforce that programming.

And what area of our lives is fraught with more co-dependent and unhelpful programming than intimate relationships? After all, look around. Even the relationships held up as models for the rest of us are often only “perfect” on the outside. Look a little more deeply, and you will often find a whole lot of unexpressed despair, rage, and co-dependency. I should know, being a life coach for such a long time. People often tell me the secrets they don’t tell anyone else.

For much of my life, like many women, I dreamed of being swept off my feet by a perfect lover man. We get programmed very early with Cinderella and Snow White. Heck, I was wooed by some of the most seductive men on the planet. I even allowed it to happen, a few times, through what in retrospect was suspension of disbelief. I wanted to believe it could be real.

And I got burned. Badly.

After all, I have values that are really, really important to me in relationships. Values like trust, honesty, integrity, keeping agreements. Oh yes, that pesky expectation of keeping agreements, that’s a really big one for me. For me, the feeling of crushing disappointment after counting on someone to do something – especially someone I really loved – and they don’t follow through … is up there on my list of never-want-to-have-again feelings.

Trust, honesty, integrity, keeping agreements … those values are not in the repertoire of men who “sweep you off your feet.” The man who sweeps you off your feet is a con man. That’s who he is.

With a lot of solitude and celibacy, I was able to step back from my childhood Cinderella fantasy with a lot more honesty … When I was really honest with myself, I could see that What I found with being swept off my feet was only disappointment. Men with no integrity, who could not keep their word to save their lives. The betrayal seared me. It almost destroyed me. Maybe they too wanted to believe their lavish (in retrospect, rather grotesque) fantasies, or maybe they were even more cynical than that. Either way, it left me wanting never to have sex or romance ever again.

So I released and released and released. When Harvey the Cat was really sick this past year, there was no time or energy for taking a shower much less dating. I barely slept for several months, barely left my apartment for the better part of a year. Getting even the most basic tasks done was almost impossible. There was only wall-to-wall healing, week after week, month after month. Only God and I know how many thousands of tears were shed, releasing so many lifetimes of grief to save Harvey’s life.

I am not the same person I was a year ago. I am almost unrecognizable as a person, after being in the crucible this past year. I’m approaching myself now almost the way I would a stranger, not knowing the answer to so many questions. What do I like to do? Who am I? How will I move forward from here? I don’t know.

What’s very, very clear though, is that I have absolutely no interest in being swept off my feet by a man. Never again. I will keep both my feet firmly grounded on the earth, thank you very much :)

Now being a stranger to myself, and so not knowing how to expect myself to behave or think or feel, I went out on the town a few weeks ago. I wrote about it in my newsletter, as some of you who are on my list may remember. What seemed to be the highlight of that night was practicing assertive communication, ala the 30-Day Communication Challenge, with another woman.

I did though meet a man that night too, briefly. It was quite random. And while we did exchange Facebook information, there really was no reason for him to know that I found him intriguing. Not as someone to sweep me off my feet. As a human being. He’s a renegade, like me. Living on the fringe of society, outside the lines. Like me.

And so, since he is a hermit, and I am a hermit, after a couple weeks went by, I found myself feeling drawn toward connecting with him. What’s more … gasp … I went ahead and made the first move to see if he would like to get together. He seemed very excited about it. I didn’t know how he would react. He might have blown me off, and I might have let the fear of that stop me from asking for connection … How many opportunities do we miss in life because of the “roles” we expect each other to play?

Remember, I don’t know myself anymore. So instead of following rules or roles, I did was in my heart.

I’m so glad. We went out for Cinco de Mayo. I didn’t know it was Cinco de Mayo until people started mentioning margaritas. What I did know is that, without any expectations of being swept off my feet, we were having a beautiful, amazing, dynamic, energizing conversation. He super graciously paid for my dinner, even though I had been the first to reach out. Then, it seemed nobody wanted the evening to end. So we went up the street for margaritas, which I was going to pay for but could not get the bartender to accept the cash. (I have a long history of the Universe giving things for free.) They were seriously the best margaritas I’ve ever had in my life, and I’m sure the taste was enhanced by the amazing company and conversation.

Today we saw each other again. Was it some hot and heavy intense seduction? Nope. We hung out in my garage and made a new insert out of glued-together styrofoam scraps for my sagging hot tub cover. And talked, and talked, and talked. While we wound yards and yards of duck tape around our makeshift insert. Then we celebrated by taking a dip in the hot tub. Where we talked some more.

It was glorious. There were no expectations. There was no pressure. I felt super grounded. It was fun.

I will not be swept off my feet. Any relationship that develops in my life now is going to develop in alignment with my deepest values. Honesty, trust, integrity, keeping agreements. Day by day, long before any deep physical intimacy, stone by stone, DIY project by DIY project, the foundation will be built first. Or it won’t go anywhere.

I will never again allow my life to be capsized by a little boy in man’s clothing. Those values – trust, honesty, decency, keeping agreements, mutuality, integrity – are not negotiable. The responsibility for keeping things grounded and everything moving glacially slowly, is on me. It’s a responsibility that – after all I’ve been through that took me to the brink of despair – I happily accept and embrace.

That means getting swept off my feet, is no longer in the cards.

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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It’s Complicated: An Open Letter to My Ex Mark Manson

Rising Above the Son of Man: It’s Complicated Because We Need A New Paradigm

Blogger Mark Manson and Erika Awakening

Mark Manson and Erika Awakening in happier times

Ah, let me take a deep breath. I had no intention of writing any more articles about my ex Mark Manson. Then again, when God speaks to me, I listen. So here goes with another open letter to Mark Manson.

Let me preface this article by saying that my first Love in this lifetime was not a man. My first love was Literature, a love I pursued all the way through college before the “left brain” world co-opted me to law school.

When I was in college, because my family was not well off, I got a job waiting tables to make more money. I remember the restaurant clients asking me what I was majoring in at Stanford University.

“Modern Thought and Literature!” I replied. It was my passion. I loved it.

They would scrunch up their faces with judgment and concern. “How on earth are you going to make a living or get a job majoring in literature?” They saw it as frivolous, a waste.

Never mind that it took me to Harvard Law School, where I was an editor of the Harvard Law Review and graduated near the top of my class.

It turned out that studying literature was far more valuable than that. What I learned from studying literature now informs every aspect of my healing method, Holistic Belief Reprogramming. The whole world we see is metaphor. And those of us who know how to read the literary symbolism of everyday life, can become empowered to heal the whole planet.

Now let’s begin our open letter to my ex Mark Manson.

Dear Mark,

I asked Facebook to stop showing me your articles from MarkManson.net quite a while ago. I must admit I felt nauseous seeing the “new” Mark Manson articles, so formulaic, with endless sycophantic fan boys (and girls) swooning over them. Really, I wanted to vomit every time I saw one of them.

“Why doesn’t he create a computer program to generate these articles, according to the formula, with new inputs on the subject matter of the week?” I asked myself.

Underneath my scorn was a deeper feeling of sadness, a longing for the Mark Manson I knew seven years ago. His writing was not formulaic and predictable. Back then, he was not writing for “popularity.” He was writing for expression. It was raw and real. I miss that Mark Manson.

Cats Mark Manson

My cats Fritz and Harvey back in the days when Mark Manson visited us in San Francisco

Anyway, I digress. As you may know, in June of this year, my cat Harvey (one of my two cats that you met seven years ago in San Francisco, Mark) was stricken by tragedy. He suffered a dreaded saddle thrombus, which in veterinary medicine is considered a certain death sentence. This was followed by severe congestive heart failure. The veterinarians thought I was “crazy” to treat him. They pushed hospice, euthanasia, and grief counseling on me.

Well, those veterinarians don’t know me very well. I don’t give up easily on the ones I love. And I sure as hell was not going to kill my cat with “death penalty” chemicals. Harvey the Cat’s heart needed healing, and their answer was to stop his heart entirely?

Fuck that shit. I committed to getting Harvey the Cat healed.

Throughout the healing of Harvey the Cat, I have been following hints and Guidance from the Universe about what to tap next. I have at this point more than four terabytes of tapping videos, almost none of which has been released publicly. As I tapped thousands of issues that arose, following my Guidance, the “impossible” began to happen.

The night of the saddle thrombus, Harvey the Cat had been suddenly paralyzed from the waist down with a blood clot. Seeing his panic on the floor of the vet’s office, desperately trying to pull himself forward with his front legs, is one of the most horrific images I have ever seen.

Hearing the vet say “We don’t recommend treating this condition,” was even worse.

As you can imagine, Mark Manson, I was bawling with grief.

(Flashback to my childhood: Although I was away at college at the time, I knew from what my family reported that my childhood cat had been stricken by the same saddle thrombus. Poor beloved Sammy, the best cat ever. My dearest childhood friend. And she was dead in less than 24 hours.)

So it’s been quite amazing to watch over the last six months how magical Holistic Belief Reprogramming really is. With my tried-and-true emergency protocol, I had Harvey’s left leg working again within two or three hours of the original incident. His right leg came back within two to three days.

That turned out to be only the beginning. After two hospitalizations, Harvey was down from his original weight of 11 pounds to a mere 7 pounds. He had been overdosed on Lasix in the hospital, every organ in his body had been affected, and nobody (except me) thought he had any chance of returning to health.

recovering from saddle thrombus

This is Harvey the Cat six months after his seeming “death sentence.” That’s a 50 inch vertical leap up from the radiator, and a 78 inch drop down. Watching him still scares the shit out of me. But he did it!

Yet Holistic Belief Reprogramming saw us through every step of the way … I would receive Guidance from the Universe about what to tap next, I would tap it, and Harvey the Cat would take another step forward.

A thousand baby steps add up to quantum leaps. Isn’t that what you teach, Mark Manson?

This is Harvey the Cat as of Christmas week.

This is what is possible when we learn healing skills and refuse to give up on each other.

Because my healing method has saved both of my cats from certain death sentences … as well as many, many other miracles … needless to say, I trust my Guidance completely, even when things feel overwhelming and I am not seeing any way out of a tough situation.

Guidance About 666 and the Son of Man

So back to you, Mark Manson. Yesterday I received a bunch of Guidance about the number 666. (Tapping the meanings of various numbers that showed up repetitively has been an integral part of Harvey’s healing.)

I received my first ever confirmed booking on Airbnb, and the payout amount for four nights in February is $2666. Harvey the Cat had his lowest respiratory rate since I started counting it nearly six months ago: 16.666666 to infinity. Harvey was drinking 6 ounces of water each day, all week (down from 10.5 ounces a couple weeks ago, so another step forward).


Was my six-month relationship with Mark Manson a reenactment of the Fall from Grace, the exile from the Garden of Eden?

It has not been lost on me, for a long time, the connection between my ex’s name, Mark Manson, and Biblical accounts of the Anti-Christ. Based on how my ex Mark Manson has treated me over the last seven years (if only you could see all his private messages to me, a very different person than his public presentation) … I have often asked myself if Mark Manson is the Devil Incarnate.

When I look up California Street from my apartment in San Francisco, I can see Mark (Top of the Mark) on the left side of the street and Mason on the right hand side. It’s not quite Mark Manson, but it’s very close to Mark Manson. And Grace Cathedral sits just beyond, a little ways more up the hill.

Yet it was only recently that I started connecting all the dots about the meaning of the name Mark Manson. (If you’ve ever studied literature, you know that the symbolism in protagonist names is very important in great novels.) I must admit that my knowledge of the Bible is not as deep as it should be, because Biblical archetypes are very important patterns that run in the unconscious mind that need to be healed.

As a child, I remember being fascinated by the chapter in the Bible called Revelations. It stood apart for me from the rest of the Bible. And now I learn a new meaning about my ex, Mark Manson. Of course, I knew about 666 and the Son of Man (Manson). In A Course in Miracles, it is prophesied that the Son of Man (Manson) shall return to his true Identity as the Son of God.

I was not aware of, or did not remember, the whole bit about the MARK of the Beast. MARK Manson. Interestingly, the mark of the beast is to be on the “right hand.” Those who refuse to take the mark of the beast, like me, follow the laws of God instead. While most take the mark of the beast and follow “this world’s” laws. (Harvey the Cat would not have recovered, under this world’s laws.)

Anyway, some years ago, I received a strange marking to my LEFT hand. The left hand is associated with the RIGHT brain, which is our connection to the Divine and the Laws of God. Whereas the right hand is associated with the LEFT brain (logic, worldly thinking, etc.).

Oh I could write on and on about the unbelievably uncanny symbolism of all this.

Anyway Mark … I was tapping 666, the Son of Man, and the Mark of the Beast (Mark Manson), yesterday … and suddenly … even though I told Facebook long ago that I never, ever want to see articles from you … Not one but TWO of your articles showed up in the feed anyway.

UGH, are you fucking kidding me – will I never escape this man, Mark Manson?

One of the two articles was It’s Complicated.

At first I had my usual knee jerk, eye rolling reaction … judging you, noticing how formulaic the articles are, remembering with nostalgia how much I enjoyed the life that was in your articles years ago …

Then I caught myself, realized that judging you really isn’t helping anyone, and said to myself, “You know, Erika, Mark Manson is doing the best he can just like you are …”

You like great books, right, Mark Manson?

Did you ever read Thomas S. Kuhn, the Structure of Scientific Revolutions? It’s on my shelf still, one of many books I read in college as a Modern Thought and Literature major, that were very eye opening for me.

I thought of that book when I saw your article It’s Complicated.

You know, Mark, everyone is trying to “figure it out” within the old paradigm. Old, tired, wearying debates about monogamy vs. polyamory, what skills would “improve” relationships, blah blah blah …

What I believe is that these contradictions and dilemmas will not get resolved without a leap to a new paradigm.

The other day, I felt really excited that this guy was reaching out to me on Facebook because at first it seemed he might actually be interested in me. Not “me” the photos or the image, but ME the purpose I am living for healing the planet. The real me.

And then at the very end, he had to slip in some comment about kissing me.

I felt utter disgust. I felt so unseen, unheard, totally objectified. I noticed that I also felt too exhausted to have the conversation, yet again, that I don’t date men who don’t learn about and share my purpose.

My solution to “it’s complicated” has been to withdraw from the world entirely.

We need a new paradigm, Mark. A revolution. All the old models will have to go, all the old questions only spin in endless loops. People consider it “success” if they get married and have children, but an astute observer of the long-term trajectory of such relationships – being honest – could not call any of it “success.”

We need a new paradigm. The whole current premise of relationships, creating a little “private corner” of “happiness” and “connection” – is flawed. It works against the principle of Oneness. Even those couples who seem to be “in service” to the planet are still in the old paradigm.

We need a revolution.

healing cat Mark Manson

When I see this woman having her breast cut off to heal … I feel sad, wishing people had the skills to do for themselves what I’ve done for Harvey the Cat.

People are so frustrated, living their lives of quiet despair. Posting their Facebook statuses, trying to align the reality of “what is” with the false ideals of what they think their life should look life. And it’s making people miserable – because like air-brushed, photo-shopped models in magazines, it’s an ideal that can never be achieved.

Because the “ideal” is wrong.

Well I don’t even know if you’ll get this message. I hope you do. I hope you can see that I’m just like you, doing the best I can in a very flawed system. I saw a blog the other day by a woman who not long ago appeared to have all that worldly “success.” It has all ended in tragedy, and she recently let a surgeon cut off her entire breast in the name of “healing.”

I feel deep, deep sadness knowing this breast amputation was not necessary, that there is another way. I just don’t know how to reach them.

You would know how to reach them, Mark Manson.

Happy holidays, Mark Manson.


erika awakening

How Tiffany Manifested A Career Breakthrough After One HBR Session

Day 92 of 111 Days of Love – Acts of Self-Love – Invest in Private HBR Coaching for Spectacular Results

reduce child's fever

My customer Tiffany used the emergency protocol to reduce her child’s fever and calm his respiratory distress.

Some of you may recall Tiffany from our earlier article about How to Treat A Child Fever with Emergency Protocol. Since that time, Tiffany really faced her fear and STRETCHED her financial comfort zone to afford a series of five private coaching sessions with me.

If I must say so myself, we have been getting some absolutely PHENOMENAL results recently in my private coaching sessions.

From significantly improving one client’s kidney function, to attracting strong family support for another client, to improving foreign language ability, to reducing procrastination and clutter, to getting someone (finally) to start their blog, to attracting significant improvements in a romantic relationship … we have been getting fast and significant results all across the board.

Tiffany and I have only completed one session so far of our five-session Holistic Belief Reprogramming coaching series. It was, if I must say so myself, a very powerful session.

So I was absolutely thrilled to see her post the testimonial below in our secret HBR coaching support group. She had a significant career breakthrough, resulting from an inner shift to authenticity and personal power, after JUST ONE SESSION.

Imagine what is possible for you, with a long-term commitment.

Tiffany gave me permission to share her story here, so here it goes, in her own words:

Hey fellow HBR friends,

I want to take a moment to stop and share something special with you all. Erika, tune in.

So we are all in this group because we believe… We believe in [Holistic Belief Reprogramming], we believe in our power, we believe in the possibility of change, but ultimately it’s because we know that we have found a foundational tool to help us connect with ourselves, a tool that invites us to access our deepest potential and power. Am I right?

Yeah we found it… We use it… It’s changed more than we probably even give it credit for, but if we are completely honest, how many of us really invest ourselves Fully to the use and application of this method? How many of us are still terrified to spend “too much” on our transformation? Because maybe we think that it some how won’t pay itself off.. Or we will be disappointed? Or maybe we are really just afraid of really learning the truth, which is, that we have complete and total control over our experience, and it’s scary because some of us don’t trust ourselves with a job so important and influential.

Erika is always telling us these things, and always encouraging us to make a bigger commitment. Maybe we ask ourselves how much is it really about us, and how much is about her financial gain. I know we have all had some level or version of this thought process in play…

So that’s why -> I < - (if I could bold and under line I would) wanted to address everyone personally with my experience, directly from my Facebook account. It's not a testimonial on a webpage, there is no questioning the authenticity of my claims. I took a pretty significant leap as of late, and decided to lock down some sessions and a challenge with Erika, and then shortly after my first session started making payments on a mother challenge. I have been experiencing panic attacks everyday since I hit the pay now button, and sometimes it's so intense I think that the stress is doing some serious damage to my internal organs... But guess what? I tap... And I tap, and if that doesn't do it, I tap a little more. I tap and I cry, and I scream, and I sob, and I laugh (almost psychotically). But when I'm done, I feel relief, and I feel something else, something new. There is something different left in the wake of all that pain, a new aspect of my self rises to the surface. I get to meet new parts of me that I didn't know before, parts that are courageous, and steadfast. Parts that are kind yet maintain boundaries, and parts with a level of strength I did know was possible. I have tapped 4 videos of a challenge and completed one [HBR coaching] session with Erika thus far, and let me tell you where that has gotten me. I am a new Realtor, for those of you that don’t really grasp the gravity of what it takes to start in this profession, let me tell you, it requires extreme adaptability and willingness to flow and change with the tide. That’s not me, at all. I am deathly afraid of change, and flow, and anything that requires me to surrender. Or… At least I was.

When I started this job [in real estate] about 4 months ago, I decided to act, and dress, and talk differently. I studied people in the same profession and emulated their behavior and ways. I thought that since I was so unfamiliar with this world, that changing these things would help make me successful. Yet all these changes brought me were disgust, overwhelm, and hateful feelings. I’m angry, I am almost always feeling some form of underlying rage at all times lately. I’m angry for many reasons, but it wasn’t until after my first session that I realized that I had even changed so much of what was my authentic self in order to “succeed”.

Exactly 17 hours after the session, I started tearing through my closet, throwing away make up I hated, finding receipts for clothes bought, and giving away my high heels. I decided in a moment, a flick in time, that I wasn’t going to be anything for anyone that I didn’t feel inside of me. That everything I wear, that I speak, and that express, will resonate with me. Everyone can take or leave me. If they don’t want to work with me, because I’m not dressed classy enough, wearing enough make up or jewelry, or simply because I won’t conceal my beliefs… Well I don’t really want them in my experience anyway.

After I had this epiphany, it was less than 24 hours later, I had 3 of the Top Producing Teams in my office fighting for me. Literally guys, OUT OF NOWHERE!

I was invisible before this, like no one even cared to speak to me, much less even realize I existed. I can’t even imagine what my life will look like after session 5, or hell, what it will look like after I manifest $100,000 and decide to invest $50,000 into the 15 week miracle program.

This is real, everyone knows it deep down, everyone has experienced it to some degree. All I can say is you really do get what you put in… Actually I take that back, you get ten fold what you invest, because you get to meet you. And knowing yourself as the amazing eternal all powerful being that you are, well, you can’t put a price on that.

So those of you sitting on the fence, wasting all your energy with excuses and fear. Just shove yourself off and into the abyss, fuck all that other shit, and make the best investment, the one in yourself.

Thank you, Tiffany, for letting us share your story here. I feel so happy that this shift to be a more AUTHENTIC YOU … is exactly what attracted them to start seeking you out, instead of the other way around. What an amazing testament to the power of authenticity and living in your Truth.

I look forward to the results we get for you in the next four sessions. I know there is already another miracle in the making for you, from what you posted earlier today.

Let’s bring those miracles home :D

And for all the rest of you reading this, Are you ready for miracles?

If so, it’s time to take a leap of faith like Tiffany did. Set the money and time and other bullshit and excuses crap aside. And make the best investment you will ever make – in your own empowerment. Check out our coaching options here:


If you want to dip your toe in the water first, we have some wonderful affordable options here:


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Happy holidays to you!


erika awakening

How to Become A Neat Freak with HBR and Bissell

Day 91 of 111 Days of Love – Acts of Self-Love – How to Become A Neat Freak

When I was a child, I always secretly envied neat freaks. I remember visiting the houses of my playmates and admiring the perfectly polished floors and playing around glass tables and marble statues with hushed voices.

cleaning dirty windows of perception

Can you see the difference, before and after cleaning the windows? Wow!

Our own home was usually at some level of chaos (no offense, Mom!). It was not to the level of hoarder status. We did keep up with the dishes. There was a lot of clutter and no clear place for a lot of the stuff we had. It felt chaotic.

When I started living on my own, my life became cleaner. I was moving closer to being a neat freak. Still, I never really enjoyed cleaning. It felt like drudgery, like a chore. And I would have to “force” myself to do it.

That all changed when I created the Holistic Belief Reprogramming healing system (what is it? Good question. You can learn more about this specialized form of EFT tapping here).

Now, after a powerful session of releasing emotions, I often feel COMPELLED to clean. Like OCD compelled. I see a dirty dish, and my hands start moving without even thinking about it. I see a spot on the carpet, and my hands move for the enzyme cleaner.

Because of the emotional cleansing that I do on a daily basis with Holistic Belief Reprogramming … I truly have become a neat freak. I never in a million years thought “becoming a neat freak” would EVER happen to me.

Chaos in my external environment no longer matches up to the cleanliness of my subconscious mind. And the Universe is always going to find a way for these two things – internal and external world – to match up.

(If you want to become a neat freak, I highly recommend the 30-Day Simplify Your Life Challenge. Of course, all of our emotional release 30-Day Challenges will help immensely – check them out here.)

111 days of love erika awakening

Harvey the Cat had turned our home into his own personal vomitorium.

So it was driving me insane this summer that caring for Harvey the Cat and conducting his healing was so intensely all-consuming, that any possibility of deep cleaning went by the wayside.

Even more frustrating was that I tried to keep up with the endless messes, yet the tools I had were grossly inadequate. It’s one thing to clean up occasional clear cat vomit with my trusty bottle of Nature’s Miracle Stain & Odor Remover.

It’s quite another to be attempting to keep up with serial vomiting of food and blood, endless diarrhea, ten cat meals a day spilled on all different areas of the carpet, urine soaked into carpets and walls, endless soiled towels and sheets and linens, plus medications and supplements mixed with food dropped and smeared on carpets, floors, and walls, to name a few.

I felt overwhelmed by the chaos, and the smell, no matter how hard I tried to keep up with it. My inner neat freak was … freaking out! The carpet was covered with vomit stains. Some areas smelled like urine. And some of the cleaning products were, as my dad would say, “the cure is worse than the disease.” Heavily perfumed and nauseating.

Meanwhile, the windows were getting dirtier and dirtier from the dusty San Francisco air. I could not help but see the windows as a metaphor for distorted perception, failing to see Harvey the Cat and other parts of my life as healed and whole.

In the past, I had hired professionals to help clean dirty carpets and dirty windows. Heck, I had even hired professionals to clean the bathroom and kitchen, at times.

Now we were dealing with a significant financial setback due to the health crisis. So I really didn’t want to spend our money on one-time cleanings. What good would it do anyway? The windows would soon be dirty again, and what would I do about the next vomit stain?

As well, Harvey the Cat is extremely shy and gets stressed out when strangers are in the apartment. The last thing I needed was for him to be stressed.

Of course, I tapped about these challenges we were facing in restoring our inner neat freak to peace. The dust had settled a bit with Harvey, and it was time to get our place clean again. As I tapped about these problems, what happened is what we expect to happen when we practice Holistic Belief Reprogramming … Miracles began to appear.

I started researching carpet cleaning companies in San Francisco. Nothing seemed like a perfect fit. At the time, Harvey was still vomiting on a nearly daily basis. We had gone through a two-week time period where he hacked up a hair ball EVERY SINGLE DAY. The vet had no solution for me, but I started giving him daily B vitamins and the vomiting of hair balls stopped. (Unfortunately, this did not stop the other kinds of vomiting but at least we were making some progress.)

Anyway I digress …

A big question on my mind: What if I pay hundreds of dollars to get the carpets cleaned, and we are back to square one with more vomit stains, urine puddles, and food smears within two weeks?

(Please note: this post contains affiliate links. I will receive a rather piddly amount of money if you buy any of these products through the links. If I’m lucky, I might receive an affiliate check for a few dollars a year from now, and it might be enough to buy a fast food meal. Hey, every little bit helps but if you really want to support this information and this blog, please do both of us a favor and shop here.)

So I Googled renting a carpet cleaning machine, but was feeling wary due to experiences from the past, when such machines did not do a good job and left carpets soaked and mildewing.

Somehow, I Googled my way into the answer, and here it is. Your carpet cleaning problems solved:

BISSELL Big Green Deep Cleaning Machine Professional Grade Carpet Cleaner

Phew, expensive right? Well, not in the long run. I was truly impressed when I first used the BISSELL Big Green Deep Cleaning Machine Professional Grade Carpet Cleaner. This machine made quick and easy work of ground-in vomit stains that had been soaked into the carpet for months. I was able to stage the work over several days. And when the work was done, ahhhh, I could finally breathe in here.

But it gets better. :D

I swear that the BISSELL Big Green Deep Cleaning Machine Professional Grade Carpet Cleaner, combined with Holistic Belief Reprogramming, not only got the carpets cleaned. It also shifted something in our vibration.

bissell big green carpet cleaning machine

This Bissell Big Green Carpet Cleaning Machine was a lifesaver. Emptying the dirty water tank was a trip – you will be shocked how much dirt is in your carpets.

Because since I cleaned the carpets with the BISSELL Big Green Deep Cleaning Machine Professional Grade Carpet Cleaner, the frequency and severity of Harvey the Cat’s vomiting has dropped significantly.

What a huge relief for my inner neat freak, and also for the part of me so stressed out about Harvey the Cat’s well-being. Hearing my cat vomit over and over and over again was tearing me apart. We have significantly more peace since I cleaned the carpets and removed all those stains from the past.

My inner neat freak may be on to something when it comes to healing.

I was so pleased with the BISSELL Big Green Deep Cleaning Machine Professional Grade Carpet Cleaner, that I decided to try another one of the Bissell line of products. I could not believe how good the price was, they were practically giving them away:

Bissell Lightweight 3-in-1 Vacuum

bissell 3-in-1 stick vacuum

My new best friend, the Bissell 3-in-1 Stick Vacuum, a $20 miracle!

Yes, for a mere $20, my endless problem with the tracking of food and cat litter all over the apartment … was solved. My inner neat freak was horrified by how chaotic everything felt with the carpet constantly dirty. After this new purchase … No more dragging the huge, heavy, extremely loud regular vacuum cleaner out of the closet once a week. Now I can do a quick vacuum sweep literally every day or sometimes every two days. This Bissell Lightweight 3-in-1 Vacuum is a sanity saver for a budding neat freak. The handle detaches, and it becomes a powerful Mini-Vac. And you’re practically stealing, to get it for $20 !!

We were not finished yet.

My inner neat freak still had another problem to contend with:
hard floors and walls, furniture and radiators, all smeared with medications and foods, a smell that was impossible to remove with “normal” cleaning tools and chemicals, and lots of routine cleaning (like the shower and bathtub) that had not been done for months during the heat of the crisis.

Mildew had accumulated in the shower, throwing my inner neat freak into a tizzy – ewwww yuck:

steam cleaning bissell

Here you can see how dirty the tiles were before I cleaned and the significant improvement afterward. Impressive, especially because I used no chemicals.

Inspired by my experience with the first two Bissell cleaning appliances, I decided to get a third:

Bissell PowerFresh Lift-Off Pet Steam Mop

Never in my life before, had I experienced the joy of steam cleaning. I have always hated that a mop never really gets a floor clean. Even after a fresh mopping, my bare feet will stick to the floor. I’ve been wearing fuzzy socks every day for years because I hate this “sticking” sensation oh so very much! My inner neat freak cannot handle sticking to the floor!

This Bissell PowerFresh Lift-Off Pet Steam Mop, which had never been on my radar screen until I applied Holistic Belief Reprogramming to my frustrations … quickly solved several problems. I was easily able to remove grime from all the hard surfaces in my home. I was able to clean under the fridge and the stove, removing years-old grease and dirt. I was able to remove mildew in the shower without applying chemicals. And I was able to get that “sticking” feeling off the hard floors. I have not yet mastered the technique for removing discoloration from the grout. What I loved the most about this machine is how CLEAN the clean is. Because the steam is a very high temperature, it kills bacteria and mildew naturally without chemicals. No bleach or ammonia smell afterward, just a beautiful smell of CLEAN.

My inner neat freak was very pleased with these new Bissell appliances.

Now, we still had one remaining problem: cleaning the windows on the eighth floor of this beautiful old building, which was built in the 1920s.

In Holistic Belief Reprogramming, we see everything as a metaphor in this holographic Universe.

Healing is, in its essence, a cleansing of perception. Clearly, I would not be able to finish cleansing my perception of several situations in my life without getting the thick layer of dirt off these windows.

In the past, I had a professional window cleaning company handle this job. However, after several grown-ass men who run or work for professional window cleaning companies said that they could not do the job (too scary), or could not do it anytime soon … I took the hint from the Universe.

I walked down to the local hardware store and purchased $38 of equipment, which included:

1. Ettore 30116 Squeegee Off Window Cleaning Soap

2. Ettore – The Complete Window Washer

3. Ettore Extension Pole, 8-Feet

It was a strenuous job because I live on the eighth floor with windows that cross over each other. I was able to figure out how to reach the inaccessible part of one window by extending the pole from another window. Although my end result was not quite at “professional” level, I’m sure I’ll get better at it with a little practice and experience.

Yes, I made a cash outlay for these cleaning products. In the long run, though, these Bissell and Ettore products are going to save money and sanity.

The best part? You can now indulge your inner neat freak as soon as you get up from tapping your Holistic Belief Reprogramming session. Strike while the iron is hot. The urge to clean after tapping is often overwhelming. May as well make the best of that cleaning neat freak energy by having the best possible tools on hand.

Now, I just spent half a day compiling this article – for which I do not get paid anything – to share this valuable information with you. I would deeply appreciate if you want to buy these products, that you do so through my affiliate links in this article.

To put it another way and be even more blunt: I depend on your financial support and generosity to create this content and provide this information. So please be generous with me, and use the affiliate links.

Better yet, become a neat freak like me by signing up for Holistic Belief Reprogramming. We have some introductory products here, and lots more advanced video products here. Your financial support is what makes these articles possible. Please be generous with me and yourself by supporting this blog. Thank you!

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Happy holidays to you!


erika awakening